One of the many reasons I’m glad we moved to a farm way out in the country. Here, we only have to worry about drug cartels dumping bodies in the orchards, and they only do that about once a year.

Exactly what I came down here to say - football hold, football carry - learn it, love it, live it. I had a super colicky first kid and this was the only thing that worked for him. Puts just enough pressure on the belly to push out some baby wind.

Sweet Baby Jesus, that is one cute dog!

My favorite: “There is a reason the ladies call them Sooners.”

How many babies were “save”? None. Idiot.

In my late teens/early twenties, I was the sole employee of a man who could not afford insurance for either of us (early 1990’s). I went to Planned Parenthood for birth control pills. It was a pap smear by a Planned Parenthood nurse practitioner that eventually revealed (and led to treatment for) HPV and cervical…

I was thinking he could seriously use some Crest Whitestrips.

What a start in life for this child. If nobody wants him, I’ll take him. And I won’t even ask for a dime. Poor kid.

Keep in mind my mother has MAJOR mental health issues..

For some freaky ass reason no medical person in my world can figure out, I started menopause right after I had my second kid, at 35. No woman in my family, on either side, started younger than 48. I’m not talking perimenopause, either; full-on menopause. You aren’t doomed to have whacko menopause like your mother :)

It’s spelled “embarassing.” But do go on, Internet Avenger!

That would be “you’re.”

I did read it. But thanks for playing...

Well, I don’t beg for money on the Internet, and can also spell and have reading comprehension skills, so in most circles, I am “above” you. You are asking for every single insult that is hurled at you by continuing to post here. I’m having fun, though; keep going!

“atm?” Nice Freudian slip.

So calling people idiots and fuck faces is not putting people down?

We READ your “gofundme,” dumbass! If you are shaking and crying over what you’re reading, GET OFF THE FUCKING INTERNET. And you can afford weed but you can’t afford to get your kids to school and to the doctor? You are either nuts or a troll. Go smoke some weed and chill the fuck out. I need to go sanitize my…

I read it before I judged you. What is a “pedastool,” by the way? I wonder why you’ve only received $20 donations so far?

If you can’t afford to get your kids back and forth to school and medical appointments, how are you planning on paying for a dog? Additionally, I hear they also have these things in Australia that we have here - I think they call them “animal shelters” or something similiar. Ever thought of adopting a dog that would…