Every time there is a "quit smoking" story, I am compelled to post this advice. I know a foul, but highly effective way to quit smoking in a very short period of time with very little willpower required. Just follow these steps, and behavioral psychology will slap that addiction right out of your brain!

Or possibly a show about a punk rock club that narrowly avoids a lawsuit for copyright infringement.

Actually, Teen Skipper Prime is the better known of the Prime/Barbie kids. The other one is Barbie's Dream Prime, a pink 18 Wheeler with remarkable fashion sense and a degree in small business management.

When I was a kid, we had an "Astronaut day" (or something to that effect) in third grade. One of the activities was to make a space-helmet with a flag drawn on the chest of any country in the world. I grew up watching Indiana Jones movies with my dad and one of the only non-American flags I could think of was the…

To answer your implied question, JK Rowling described Barty Crouch Sr thusly: "The parting in his short grey hair was almost unnaturally straight and his narrow toothbrush mustache looked as though he trimmed it using a slide-rule." Sounds like a Hitler 'stache to me, although the hair on his head is clearly too dark…

True, but "AlpacaLord" doesn't have the same ring to it. Criminals are a cowardly and market-aware lot, and one needs proper branding to strike fear into them.

It's probably just the way I think: people in cheap hotels probably don't have much worth stealing are are less likely to sue if something goes very wrong. People in nice hotels have nice things and probably have a few friends who are lawyers. Plus, if I want rich and famous people in my hotel, I have to protect…

Hey, I'm not saying there's no correlation between being in power and being a white male. What I am saying is that people in power, regardless of race or gender, generally get in far less trouble than people with no power. Any celebrity or rich person gets a fraction the punishment that a "normal person" would…

I'd have assumed exactly the opposite. I expect no real security at all from a flea-bag hotel, but if I stayed at the Ritz (or some other high value hotel), I'd expect excessive levels of security and discretion on their part.

Probably a bit less on the race issue than the other two. He was a popular football coach, he could have been a 3 headed green rhinoceros and the "popular football coach" aspect would have still protected him. (Not denying it may have been a factor, but money and fame go a lot further than race as a protection.)

I'm glad the joke didn't go to waste. I hate to blow a perfect 19th century literature joke on a crowd that doesn't get it. You can use them so rarely, it's a shame when nobody gets them.

Nah, it's the Yellow Wallpaper in the classroom that drives them to madness. The bus just drives them to and from school.

Thanks for that. You're probably one of those people who are happy to share the madness of a returning Elder God. Way to try and infect our brains too. ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

I agree. They'd probably look quite... (wait for it)... hot.

I can one up you: "If only all racists were currently on fire."

I gotta agree with the other replies to your post. I think the company did the right thing in firing the racist and apologizing. It would have been cooler if they burned the store down and salted the ground to prevent it from ever re-growing, but you can't always get what you want. More to the point: Papa John's is…

I can. I don't think he'd do it on purpose, but he seems like he could get confused enough to put them on for a while.

I'm not sure about how awesome it would be, but I'm quite confident that the White House's quotient of fabulosity would go up significantly. RuPaul 2016!

Bummed and probably seriously injured. But for sure on that "bummed" thing.

Well, they did leave the word "solid" just hanging there... kind of like my... [hangs head in shame] I can't keep doing this. There's only so many poop jokes a man can make in a day before they start to hurt his soul.