TLDR, decided to look away and ignore the rest of your post. ;)

I'm a fan of pretty much any bilingual pun and the fact that it was also a boner joke earned a surprised chuckle or three. (BTW: my username is also a bilingual pun)

I cannot praise the Durex "avanti BARE" non-latex condoms enough for those with latex allergies. My last serious girlfriend had a minor latex allergy and I got into the habit of buying them while we were together. They're pretty similar to the Trojan Bareskins, but have an added bonus: they have almost no flavor…

Just a small point: it may actually be reasonable for a doctor to ask you about sexual history for a sore throat. A number of STD's have throat-related symptoms, especially if the patient contracted the disease orally. (Most of the Gawker Media sites recently ran an article on this exact topic, showing a link…

I totally get you there. I certainly don't skip over the main course, but I really like eating plenty of mozzarella sticks before it shows up. It's not mandatory that I enjoy a basked of mozzarella sticks every time I go out for dinner, but if I rarely get enough of them, I might start looking for a different…

Lol, thanks for linking a movie I was already quoting in my reply. A few minutes after the scene you posted, Guy of Gisbourne asks Nottingham, "Why a spoon, cousin?" to which Nottingham replies "Because it would hurt more, you twit!" The "cut your heart out with a spoon" line is really only funny once you add the…

Why a spoon, HoneySmacks? :D

Well, thanks a lot for ruining that series for me! Spoilers much? At least I can still look forward to finding out what Soylent Green is when I get home from work tonight.

Oh man, you gotta watch out for those toppings... I hear they contain potassium benzoate.

Good lord, no! Seriously! I'm a huge fan of bad movies and have actually enjoyed watching some MST3K films on my own before they got onto the show. Trust me when I say this: DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM. It's literally a bunch of random images overlaid with horrible beat poetry, the audio was awful and the visual…

Well, yeah. But honestly, I get about twice the pleasure from someone kissing my neck than I do from a BJ. It's not like a BJ is unpleasant, it's just nowhere near the top of my list of sexy-fun-time activities, and it's extremely unlikely to... ahem... finish the job.

Yeah! That movie was terrible!

I frequently wear blue shirts because I like the color. I often forget this fact when visiting Best Buy. Depressingly, I often answer people's questions better than the actual staff would.

No, but she does secretly work at a frogurt around the corner from the White House because of its awesome spy-basement.

Meh, I actually sympathize with their position. I don't actually receive much physical pleasure from receiving felatio. I don't dislike getting a BJ, but it's also not something that I actively seek out and I've never even approached orgasm from it. The reason for the breakups was that I'm not particularly…

Those guys were straight-up lying to you. 5 minutes is barely a warmup as far as I'm concerned. I think my personal record for performing oral-sex upon a lady was a total of about 6 hours in a single day (in both of our cases, breaks were mandatory at about the 80-90 minute mark).

I can understand a doctor's reluctance to perform a medical abortion (understand =/= support), but refusing to treat someone who is suffering from an incomplete abortion after the fact? That is beyond fucked up, and rapidly pushing into the "genuinely evil" territory. I am not a violent man, but if that actually…

Not bothered at all. I, along with many others, assumed the Russian Orthodox lady named Yuliya Belyaeva was probably not a native speaker of English. As it turns out, she actually still lives in Russia, so this is even more likely. The translator, on the other hand, is clearly a moron.

I'm not proud to admit this, but I've broken up with more than one woman due to the fact that they didn't like to be gone down on, which is by far my favorite activity to perform in bed. Although not true 100% of the time, as a guy, I tend to find that my sex drive is massively decreased after an orgasm, but I'm very…

Blah! The thing is I don't agree with you. We have no idea if the guard is an expert on photography laws or genuinely believes that taking pictures of a building merits a death sentence. We know the police officer thinks it might violate a law, that's it. The article isn't clear at all as to why the police were…