It sounds like they got the order *wrong* 5 times, though. She may have been acting ridiculously, but I pictured this as her ordering, say, the fish, and them bringing the burger 5 times in a row.

Let me guess, the oils cleanse your energy and detox your spleen or something, right? This stuff makes me such a curmudgeon and I’m only 22. I’m going to be a right grumpy witch when I get older.

I just...don’t get it. If I wanted to buy makeup, I would go to a makeup counter with brands I already like. If I wanted to give my friends money, I would give them money. Why blend the two together into a horrible concoction where I end up with crappy makeup and they end up with not much commission?

Living in the UK now, I’ve yet to encounter one of these pyramid scheme ideas here. But a girl I know from (American) high school recently messaged me to say she just loved my recent selfie so much and my style was amaaaazing. We’d never spoken basically- she was a lot cooler than me- so I was genuinely touched and…

I totally get this logic, but by the time Uber kills off the competition...I might have an actual job? And what’s to stop another competitor from then undercutting Uber if they raise fares and piss people off?

I’m curious what films, music, comedy, and books you consume, since apparently people using any aspect of their lived experience in their art is selling out.

This is hilarious and I bet Paul loved it, the grumpy mod git.

Cabs suck here, though :-( They cost so much more, they won’t take you on short rides, they go round the long way, and unauthorised ones are hard to spot and very dangerous. My generation didn’t switch from getting a cab home to getting an Uber home, we switched from getting a 90 min bus home to getting a 25 min Uber…

This makes me think of Count Olaf from the Serious of Unfortunate Events, a parallel I hadn’t made before but which makes more and more sense. At least Olaf was creatively evil, though.

I’m contractually obligated to respond with a hearty, “YASSS MOM!” But seriously, it’s lovely to have a Lana fan on the Jezebel staff and feel in the know!

I like your scallions tip, that would keep mine fresher longer. I eat a lot of avocado, fresh herbs, cucumber, radishes, mushrooms- none of those have ever lasted me 2 weeks! Also I eat most of those uncooked, so freshness makes a big difference to taste (comparing to a cooked onion).

I would love to do this, but how in the world does your fresh produce stay good for two weeks? Or do you cook with a lot of tinned/canned things?

Your rant was beautiful!

 Got my first ever Make up Geek order today, it’s been such fun playing around. Their shadows and highlighters really are EXCELLENT quality.

I mean, I’m not sure her ability to ‘get away with it’ is down to any sort of talent. She can lie blatantly and keep her job because Trump supporters literally don’t believe in facts anymore and will accept any sort of behaviour as long as it pisses off libtards. She’s certainly an opportunist in the right place at…

American living in the UK, I actually find people here have much better skin (lots of sunscreen? Maritime air?) and look young for their age.

I think it just came off a bit as if...this is a SUPER-RARE example of a woman without botox, when in real life the vast majority of people don’t have it and can’t afford it. It’s definitely rare for a wealthy famous woman, but I think people are reading your post as ‘this is rare for anyone, what a unique sight’.

Thank you! I can’t say I invented the pun, but I ran with it and no one’s accused me of plagiarism yet, so...it’s basically mine?

It just boggles my mind how you can have so much money and NO style whatsoever.

They’ve also just found that ibuprofen can exacerbate heart conditions. Fun!