I'm confused as to why you're turning down the job instead of the husband since the husband seems to be a disappointment to you.
Take the job. If (when) he complains, hand him a mop.
Your husband sounds like an asshole, and perhaps the harmony you are working hard to keep isn't worth it.
I think the other thing about what you talk about is this.
I kicked out the no-good husband. He can keep pretending that working one fulltime job is all a grown man can handle and he can do it in his own messy house.
YES. The only way we will ever be equal is for women to stop being nice. And actually believe we are just as entitled to happiness as men.
Absolutely right. Talk is cheap and it feels like, in most cases, that's all it is. When push comes to shove, men expect women to *take the hit*. Most of the housework, planning, childcare, oh your job isn't as important as mine. We are *supposed* to take that hit. And shut up about it. Since childhood, I was sold a…
So modern career driven ladies are left choosing between a patriarch, a sperm donating slacker or self reliance...decades upon decades of unapologetic self reliance. Sad.
Many of my friends would say I am "dating down".
Yeah ... a lot of this goes to the husband being willing to hold up his end of whatever agreement he agreed to ... and all too often not only does that just not happen, but nobody talks about it, in great part because of the boats that would have to be rocked to make things as equitable for all family members as they…
That's one of my favorite excuses to hear. (I jest.) "I need time to relax!" Yes, asshole, you do. Pardon me while I whip out the vacuum and scrub that toilet, as you are relaxing.
I am not married and I do not have children, but the daycare vs working debate always makes me a little uneasy. In the big picture, doesn't it make sense to keep the job and the career momentum going? For various reasons, I am sensitive to the concept of relying only on yourself, but even if couples stay together…
It's essentially a three-part problem. 1. Work pays less for women, so it's the job that the family gives up, if it's necessary to do that.
Love that you left him. We need more people with the bravery to do what you did.
Your husband sounds like an absolutely horrible piece of shit. Is leaving him not an option?
Same. The myths usually contain the phrase, "I make less, so with daycare it doesn't make much sense for me to work," even though if staying home was truly your calling that should be irrelevant.
But when every study shows it's near impossible to do that, and that men are near universally leading the results in these polls, it might be time to stop serving up so much well-intentioned bullshit and stop calling this egalitarian. After all, how does anything change if we're all believing our own myths?