Oh, honey. You are so, so, SO lucky to never had had that manager who would willingly flush you down a toilet to please an asshole customer who is throwing the right flavor of shitfit. Rules don’t matter. Manager’s word is law.

you beautiful, naive land mermaid.

I want to say, “Technically, if he never pays for anything, he’s not a customer,” but when I worked customer service at Nordstrom Rack the managers were such doormats that they’d literally hand cash to obvious and repeat scammers in the name of “good customer service.”

True. The douchenozzle is for discussing douche warfare. Its more powerful cousin is the douchecannon.

I worked for Starbucks on an off for over nine years—nothing in my experience would suggest this barista is in any jeopardy whatsoever.

Sure, that works most of the time. But I don’t think douche capacity is really a good enough standard. For example, that completely ignores the superiority of douchecanoes in stealth-douche applications.

The scammer needs a punch in the throat just for using the phrase “easy as pie” with such a bullshit complicated order.

Didn’t we establish that the minimum balance on a starbucks card is $5? *Checks* Yes, yes we did.

:(

“When you give rights to the minority, you take rights away from the majority—simple logic”

That attitude explains so much about the right’s reaction to every civil rights cause ever. Like, I imagine this guys grandfather or great-grand at the time of the suffragettes, “I’d like for you to have a vote, women, but then I’d have to give up my vote. So I’m a no on that.”

They’re going to need more pearls.

While it is very grating when someone uses their personality type as an excuse for bad behavior, I still find the introvert/extrovert “nonsense” to be a useful framework— or at the very least, a starting point— for talking about, describing, and understanding myself and other people.

One of the things I found most…

Clap clap clap. Perfect explanation.