I wonder what it’s like for real money to be monopoly money to you. It just must be an entirely different sort of world and thinking.

Don’t try to date the pretty girls Brian.

For my entire life, my mother has pointed out how crooked my nose is (obstensibly because the doctor had to use forceps to pull me out at birth). I’m over 50 now and I can still see it, especially if I tilt my head up a bit. I have been self conscious about it since forever, and give it credit for why no one ever…

4 years ago I had a miscarriage while I was 13 weeks pregnant. Weeks (and tbh months) later I still had a bulge in my lower abdomen from my pregnancy. During a visit from my mother she shook her head at me in disgust, and pinched the fat from my abdomen, and asked, “What are you going to do about this? You need to get…

More funny than anything, now.

My dad (who is a drunk and an asshole and completely out of my life) once commented on the way I dressed by saying, “I feel like I’m going to see you on Girls Gone Wild someday.”

Not at all sure if it was specifically about my looks, but what the hell:

Pops said, “Maybe if you brushed your hair, boys would finally start liking you.”

Sometimes I want real Mexican, sometimes I want Chipotle. I don’t pretend there’s any crossover between the two.

Bullfuckingshit. No one said their is anything wrong with women embracing their looks or even using their looks to make money. The Kardashians are on a whole other level though. They offer nothing but surgically enhanced ‘beauty’ (attempting to pass it off as hard work in the gym and good styling). It just so happens…

And this is the problem with middle class/upper class feminism. You don’t care what women are doing, as long as they’re in a position of power. Hillary Clinton is pro-war and pro-Wall Street. No problem because she is a ‘strong woman’. Who cares if her politics are aligned with Thatchers?