Every time I see this gif, I laugh way harder than I should. It’s just so ridiculous! But also because my stupid cat is more content to stare at potential prey and meow-complain at me until I get rid of it.
For example-that one time I caught her staring at the wall at about 3 AM. Turns out she was staring at a house…

THE MIGHTY HUNTER

So many people are so goddamned stupid when it comes to animals. When I was in Yellowstone we happened to see a big bull elk standing by the side of the road as we were driving and we turned around to get a better look. By the time we got back the road was completely lined with cars, and it seemed like everybody was…

The far more likely scenario is that if anything did happen they would end up panicking and accidentally shooting an innocent bystander, especially if they think tucking a gun into the waistband of their sweatpants is a good idea.

I’m a gun owner, but I’d change your comment to the following.

When the Aurora shooting happened someone actually told me it that having well-trained, armed civilians in the audience would have made everybody safer because they would have shot Holmes before he started shooting. It’s like he had a whole action movie playing out in his head which completely ignored the fact that a…

Just wow. It makes no sense on any conceivable level. Surely people are aware that Arabic is just a language spoken by millions of people - and surely once they didn't find anything suspicious on this man or his luggage they should have just upgraded him to business with a profound apology?! But FBI?!?! No opportunity…

That is the most perfect response I have ever read.

So glad you recovered with your sight intact! ☆

Yeah I disagree pretty strongly with this. I once dated a man who refused to have premarital sex and didn’t do oral. Everything was manual. You’d think it was terrible, but goddamn, I’ll never have sex that good again.

Trying to think of a funny and/or ironically humblebraggy way to put this. But I can’t so, I’ll just say: I’m a woman and I’m pretty sure I’m super duper good at ‘em. So I’ve been told.

Your poor vagina.

I seriously thought about writing “Does your fiance know you are off-the-charts batshit insane? Because you sound like a treat.” but that felt mean. Apparently I’m getting soft in my old age.

My uncle forced me to videotape his wedding a billion years ago. I pissed & moaned about it the entire ceremony. Young me apparently forgot audio was also captured with a video recorder.

There’s no way I’d ask ticket sellers to subject themselves to the torrents of abuse that would result from that. “SCREAM YELL BLATHER ABOUT JUDGING ME INSTAGRAM YELP FLAIL”

Some therapist is going to get a very nice summer house out of that kid in twenty years.

I saw Deadpool in a theater packed with children, and I thought to myself, “What kind of idiot brings a child to this?”

Our local theatre is a VIP theatre where it is 19+, ‘cause they serve booze and food and stuff in seats.
We are horrendously spoiled and refuse to go to regular theatres, even if they are significantly cheaper, because teenagers are the woorrrssttttt.

I know a few of these parents are "FREEDOM MURRICA IF I WANNA TAKE MY 6 YEAR OLD TO AN R RATED MOVIE IT IS MY GOD AND FOUNDING FATHER GIVEN RIGHT TO" but the vast majority are idiots who don't understand how ratings work, right? Like the dumb parents who took their kids to see Deadpool " Cause little Billy LOVES them…