I met Stephen Fry years ago when he was here promoting his “Wilde” film, and seen Martha Plimpton on the street eating a bagel when she was in town doing Uncle Vanya.

He is definitely still in danger, yes. Not as much as he once was, but the threat is ever-present and will be for the rest of his life.

Yeah, it was no fucking joke. I volunteered for a writer’s organization that organized a press conference / reading / event on Rushdie’s behalf, right when all hell broke loose. The venue was in SoHo and we had to bring all the participants to a freight entrance on Crosby Street, because Broadway was lined with…

I would have thought Colonel Sanders would be a breast man.

That is to say, we all knew old Tuppy Glossop had a temper, but I say, old chap. I mean, I say.

“There I was, enjoying a light repast at the Applebuddies club, engaging in a fine and stimulating discussion of Amanda McKittrick Ros’s brilliant use of simile and metaphor, when suddenly what should assault my ears but some jenny foreigner defiling the rarefied air of our great nation with her native tongue! Well I…

I always love these “Stars: Just Like Us!” things. I mean, seriously, what is Alexander Skaarsgard supposed to do with his effing groceries?

It just seems like they should be *mocked* 24/7. Then put in a time machine to repeat until they wise up.

Neither do I, because I’m a jealous piece of shit and the thought of watching my boyfriend get it on with someone else does absolutely nothing for me (besides impart a vague, seething rage.)

Exactly! I mean, it almost always isn’t as bad as cigarettes, but it’s STILL smoke from a nicotine product and I don’t want to breath that in, mmkay???

Oh man- I was at a deli/cafe kinda place a few weeks back and you order & pay at the register then wait for your number to be called. So it’s busy & the line is moving slowly and then this woman appears and stands in front of the glass case, just waiting. She keeps trying to make eye contact with staff but is being…

“You’re a DOCTOR???” *takes application away, tears it up* “You people are RIDDLED with student loan debt! I can’t believe the hit squad hasn’t been dispatched yet. Look, I’m not supposed to do this, but I’m going to show you a quick exit. For God’s sake, if you hear the baying of the hounds, run like you’ve never run…

Can we add that if there is a long line, even if it is annoying, do not huff and puff and loudly moan and sigh and act like a petulant child in need of a nap at the people in line OR the cashier? Because populations existing is not his or her fault.

I want to go out for $4 margaritas with slightly tired middle-aged angel, Dontavious, and DOL. Who’s in?

“So...you have a higher than usual probability of prescription drug abuse?”

Ruby Tuesdays or no, wine service is a mostly silly and antiquated ritual. Everyone who takes it too seriously should be mocked at all opportunities.

I once got repeatedly yelled at by a man who was declined for a store credit card (like you, with no explination, just a number to call) who just kept insiting that he couldn’t have been declined, because he was a doctor. Like a mantra, over and over again, “but I’m a doctor”. There’s only so many politely ways to…

The theme would be bees, obviously!

PEOPLE WHO INTERRUPT THE CASHIER WHO’S DEALING WITH SOMEONE ELSE, EVEN IF IT’S TO ASK A SIMPLE QUESTION, ARE GARBAGE PEOPLE AND SHOULD ALL FALL DOWN, REPEATEDLY!!!! (sorry, this Monday is having a case of the Mondays and I’m being a grumpy-face and that was something I HATED. I mean HATED!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!1!!!!one!!!…

I had a lady once viciously snap at me and start using random racial slurs when I asked her to move her goddamn backpack off of the crowded bus seat. She scootched it over to give me an oh-so-generous 3 inches of ass space, so I deigned to stand and let an SBD out in her face before I got off the bus.