“We call that Tito’s where I’m from.”

Love how beautiful it is when someone is completely and demonstrably proven to be wrong, and they retreat into lunatic denials to cover their ignorance.

Apparently it’s lethal to say “Oh, I really didn’t know that, my mistake, sorry.”

What if Captain Obvious is an Army Captain? Then he would be Major Obvious.

I think my favorite had to be the last one - if someone drove their car into the lake and then had the audacity to say there should be a warning since lake’s are hard to miss, would certainly not get a sympathetic ear from me. I’d be laughing my ass off too.

i do still get extra nice treatment at my local home depot after the ranting customer in the garden center once turned around and asked me to validate his commitment to the idea that the cashier have all the SKU’s for patio stones memorized after he’d been calling her stupid for two minutes solid. i told him he was…

The Tito’s/Tanqueray thing reminds me of this time back in my mid-20s when I went to this party my then-roommate’s friends were throwing. I didn’t really know the people at this party, but there was free booze, so whatever. I’m making random small talk with this dude who, it became quickly apparent, was a total…

re: Tito’s Gin-

Yes. The OP’s rule only works if it’s the name of a “good” biblical character.

Gawdammit, I knew that, too. Oh well!

Dependence seems like the kind of name that would lead to a shitty life. I thought these ye olde names were meant to be virtues? Like, Hope, Faith or whatever? What the hell good things comes from being called Dependence?? A need for a lot of attention? Inability to open your own jars of jam? Weird choice!

In fairness, Japheth was a guy.

I have ancestresses, from New England, named Mehitable, Hester, Annis, Hepzibah, Shuah, Hannah, Abigail, Dependence, Dorcas, Susannah, Dica, and Elvira. It’s too easy.

A cop who practices witchcraft. Or harlotry.

Don’t forget Asaneth and Mehetable Wheelwright!

this! also Japheth? c’mon old testament, cut the ladies a break.

It does. And it would star Pam Grier as a Chicago cop who has been framed for murder by the local mob for being too good at her job. Now she must clear her name before she is caught and thrown in jail. With soundtrack by B.T. Express. The tag line is “She puts the ‘beat’ in beat cop.”

Jezebel Jones? No... that sounds like a minor Blaxploitation franchise.

Her name is a perfect witch name. I have even figured out a formula to a good witch name;

If a kid did this, it would drive me nuts, but when a dog does this, it's so endearing. I'd feed them that stew all the time just to see it. My dog likes hard boiled eggs, but she breaks them open and eats the yolk out of it before she'll eat the white. Once we took the yolk out gently and gave her the round empty…

My dog growing up refused to eat peas. You could literally give her a bit of stew with mixed vegetables in it, she’d lick the bowl clean, then she would drop all the uneaten peas out of her mouth back into the empty bowl.

As a creative professional (photographer), few things irk me more than people asking me to essentially work for free. I've had companies and organizations contact me telling me they want to publish or use my work. When I ask about compensation, they tell me that they can't pay me, but it's "great exposure".