My husband and I did that for our wedding dinner, but it was a party of five so we even sat at a standard table.

People in Wisconsin. They also have wedding receptions in bowling alleys.

That is what caused me to realize that most of the adults in my life were just hopelessly stupid.

I remember that! Because I spent hours trying to understand how a human being can misunderstand the word “joke” so utterly that “ordering a sandwich without bread” fits the definition in their addled mind.

Change cigarettes to cigars, and I’m all over that.

Me too!

You deserve a universe of stars for that reference.

I did that once also and holy fuck did it hurt.

Is there any other time to eat at Waffle House?

Dry weddings (and family events) are why I have so many flasks.

I honestly would love that for my mother because all she’ll tell me when I ask what she wants is that I don’t have to get her anything at all. That. Is. A. Lie. A complete fucking lie.

Not that I’m aware of...maybe.

They did that while sober?

That makes some of my family seem normal. The worst that happened at my cousin’s wedding was that our grandmother accused my aunt (her daughter) of inviting a male coworker to the wedding because she was having an affair with him.

Having lived in Wisconsin for six years I’m surprised it wasn’t in Sheboygan.

My in-laws still live in Wisconsin, and that is exactly how they make both Manhattans and Old Fashioneds.

Why can’t I ever be that lucky?

If that person does show up I am going to quit the world.

Half my co-workers at Starbucks didn’t even like coffee; it was so odd that someone who actually hates coffee would take a job where you have to smell coffee constantly for your entire shift.

When I worked at Starbucks I always wondered how those assholes even came up with their precious drinks.