I would have never thought to make them that way, and now I’m hungry too.

All the stuff with your mother and her illness just makes this whole thing even more soul crushingly horrible.

I never knew that.

People who do Paleo are the crossfitters of the diet world.

I love going to the gym and lifting, but there are other things in life too. I had to unfollow a friend on Facebook because she was constantly posting about her bootcamps and leg days and “fitspiration” quotes. Ugh!

Any time past Germ Theory and universal suffrage is alright by me.

The Romans also had rather sophisticated heating systems for the homes of the wealthy.

This very much this!

Trust me the movie would have done a far more efficient job of killing you.

I’ve honestly never made red velvet cake with cocoa in it. The version I got from my mother has vinegar and buttermilk.

If I minded bad puns I wouldn’t have married my husband.

Tell her about pasteurized eggs.

Who serves plaintain with the peel on?

Walk into soap place, eat soap, become upset when soap tastes like soap; I don’t understand people at all.

My cousin does the ketchup thing, but in her case (not sure about your step-sister) it’s part of her eating disorder.

A star for using Peanuts meme not for overcooking meat.

Why would he do this?

I had an ex who put Kraft slices on every vegetable he ate no matter what. I ended up in tears when I made this really lovely dish with eggplant, asparagus, and mushrooms. I’ll admit I only continued to date Mr. No Taste because he was good in bed, and I mean REALLY good in bed.

I would never judge you for that. I’m often surprised by how many cookies I can actually get out of a batch considering how much of the dough I ate before cooking them.

If I’m in the kind of mood that causes me to suck down an entire can of RediWhip (I know not real whipped cream), an entire tub of spreadable cream cheese, or vanilla ice cream covered in semi-sweet chocolate chips drowned in half-and-half; Imma do that shit in private because I was raised right.