You have my sympathies because I would have reacted the exact same way. You can accuse me of many things, but stealing is not one of those things. Also fuck the other lady for not saying something at the time.

One of my exes worked at a grocery store, and those old ladies were one of his daily complaints. He always said: “they can’t remember the names of their fucking grandchildren, but they sure as shit can remember the price of every goddamn item in their carts.” He also always complained about the “bread” women; you know…

Chester Drawers

I can admit that it took me way, way too long to get the joke. In my defense it’s Monday, I had a busy weekend, and I’ve been on pain meds for over a week.

Nor that it wasn’t popularized by that stupid song.*

Why is it so hard for most folks to just shrug and say “hmm I never knew that about giraffes” and just move on from there? No one is going to go around referencing that story as “well this one time an idiot customer came in and...” Of course I ask that question as a person who makes it a life goal to not ever be…

I love this story because I’ve had almost the exact same experience with so many guys who are trying to impress me with their knowledge of booze complete with the whole “well little lady” bit. They were never that knowledgeable, and more often than not they were just completely wrong. Maybe next time they’ll not walk…

Every bar in the world has Tito’s gin, it’s probably the most famous gin on Earth!”

If a car is too expensive for you, you don’t call the police on the dealership, right?

My husband is a musician so I feel your pain. All working for exposure exposes you to is more people who want to pay you with exposure. He will work for free for small charity events but that’s it.

I love you and everyone involved in this discussion.

How do you happen to be living next door to my late grandmother? My entire life was spent with her being happy with two of her three children and their spouses and pissed at the other. It was constant. She could never be happy with all of her children and their families at the same time. I really do think it’s telling…

My paternal grandmother was like that with one of her neighbors because the woman did yard work while wearing a halter top. I don’t know about the rest of you, but it gets really hot here in Georgia so if I had a big yard to take care of I’d probably be out there in a halter as well. She actually got mad when my…

That is so sad. I’m glad you sat with her.

Oh no they do that tacky garter toss thing in the South too. I flat out told everyone that there would be none of that bullshit at my wedding. My entire family whined about how I wasn’t going to do anything fun at the reception so I canceled the larger ceremony and got married in the small chapel of the church with my…

I remember the looks of sympathy I got at my cousin’s wedding when I was 25 because my younger cousin was getting married before me. I stood in the back with my hands behind my back during the bouquet toss even though I had my long-term boyfriend with me. Thanks for the looks of sympathy older female relatives, but I…

No. Just no. All the no.

What the fuck is the Dollar Dance? It sounds horrid.

I fucking love you. I used to stand in the back with my hands behind my back.

That is one of the best things about being married. I don’t have to pretend to participate in that humiliating ritual ever again. If we’d had a more traditional wedding that and the fucking garter toss would have definitely been nixed.