As a white woman I’m horrified by my demographic’s collective complacency. Maybe some don’t want to admit, but our white feminism/radterf’s what have you, ARE part of the problem, nationally speaking. Some (white led) groups intentionally/unintentionally utilize white supremacist tactics in their orgs. That may sound…

Thank you so much. Very true thoughts. Yeah, that fetishization thing, you nailed it. “Got off on being challenged, but at the same time never took me seriously.”- EXACTLY.

Right on. Someone else mentioned that same book to me. It’s a struggle to differentiate between true intuition and just anxious paranoia, but a good skill worth honing. Thank you!

Thank you to every one who responded, or even just read and sent good vibes. The many waves of support and advice are greatly appreciated. You’re all very kind and good people. My sincerest gratitude

As a woman and an aspiring mental health advocate, this really made my day. Your ramble is welcome. Sometimes it can feel like you’re shouting out into the ether, so it’s great to know it was of some real-time use for a growing girl. Sounds like you’re doing a great job at relating to her, and exposing her to other…

Thank you! For all the words. And the book recc. I’ve heard about it but never read...sounds very apropos right now. It sucks when someone pulls you into an emotional intimacy as well as sexual. “confused heart” it’s such a monster cliché but...there you go. Cheers honey. 🤗

Fuck shame, I agree. I talk the talk, but can’t always walk the walk you know? Also thing about me: I’m VERY sex positive, I don’t slut shame anyone for anything. I’m pro whatever anyone’s preferences are as long as it’s consensual obviously. I know this is one of those things that feels like a big deal now, because…

Haha you can sense my weakness..I internalize this kind of shit up the wazoo. I’m trying not to though. My sister finally got back to me, (she’s a supportive angel, I’m SO lucky) and reminded me that this is, indeed, an all too common situation and basically rite of passage into casual-sex womanhood. I’ve cut the…

Yes very similar situation! Thank you for sharing. He grew up in a navy family, divorced, christian (not religious) and v fiscally conservative. He sort of tricked me into thinking socially progressive, but that may have been just to get into my pants. He was very convincing though. *ugh* (we happened to bond over…

Not trite at all, very accurate. I’m still learning of course. I know this was not a disaster of epic proportions, could have been way worse. My sensitivity is a gift and a curse. I’m also highly sensitized to toxic masculinity bullshit especially this week because of the many trauma stories circulating around my life…

Agree on the gas lighting front, yeah. Thank you for words of support.

true true, older is not always wiser. I think that was part of the initial appeal, but it became clearer that his whole “wisdom” is rooted in false, deeply skewed beliefs. So bye bye. Also, yes, it’s over. He’s not a stalker, and I don’t get aggro vibes from him (yet) so I feel..ok. Just generally disgusted and…

Thank you 7 buck coffee. You know, as much as I was in a place of loneliness and seeking validation- he was TOO. It’s crystallizing in my head a bit. But you know what, I’m not his manic pixie dream girl meant to excite and stroke his ego. This is why I was about ready to ghost him (that’s not my style but he craves…

Thank you. That WTF feeling had to happen eventually right?

Thanks honey. I know, it’s a common thing. I’m not anomalous...just new at this, and skeeved.

agreed, and it’s done. I’m just in reckoning phase.

This is..off topic. I feel desperate. None of my friends are around. I need like, a touch of female support. I just had a weird experience with a guy. I’m young. almost 22. I’ve only had a few sexual encounters. A little of that’s nerves, but a lot of it is not finding guys I click with in/adjacent to my social sphere.

I just saw that. #policebrutality

they’re just enhanced customer service techniques

they make us listen to their customer service bullshit noise. So why not? They’ve failed on me for like the 4th time this month I’ve HAD IT.