I suck at shade. That’s what I come here for, lol.

Yeah, I am. I was a few minutes away today, in my office, hearing all the chaos. It’s an awful feeling to step outside and see people crying and being terrified. I’m just hoping the injured people will survive, that three dead will be the total.

1. Jalapeno

Every ONE of these flavors is an also ran to the great and unbeatable Jalapeno. Honey Dijon?! PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTT! GTFOH.

You should see his attempt to be President.

Let’s just remember that he has a valuable legacy that I can’t just throw away. I remember that he’s the first black man to ever win an Emmy in television. I also remember that he’s the first guy to make a cartoon with black characters where their lips and noses were drawn proportionately. I remember that he had a…

All you have to do is make your vagina a corporation, and you’ll be recognized as a human being again. Maybe you could sell ad space down there too? Make some cash!

You know what? If we held a fund raiser where everyone who wanted to paid to shoot a rubber band gun at Paul Ryan’s nutsack we could raise enough money to insure every American in say, a week, if we charged $5 a rubber band. I always keep a little cash for emergencies that I would happily donate since I am an…

Does this mean we can call in Logan to take care of it? Please say yes.

GnR? cool. i never saw them because i was afraid Rose would pull a no show and didn’t want to fight for refunds. i still love those LPs though...I can even play my tennis racket air-guitar like Slash. actual photo below

I once read a story about a woman who drove down a boat ramp and into a lake even though she could see how that would end, but she did it anyway because her GPS kept insisting that was right.

That’s just journalist Clark Kent. Is he some kind of hero? I’ve never thought his Planet stuff was particularly heroic, so unless he has some kind of secret identity that nobody has told me about, I don’t see what you are getting at.

“I can’t believe the University aloud this”

Pennywise would make a better president. “Yes, I may be an intergalactic spider from space that subsists on a diet of the souls of children, but even I understand the importance of maintaining a tentative diplomatic relationship with China to protect our economic interests on the world stage. This go it alone…

(edit: I know this is probably a troll post, but I’ve wanted to use this .gif for so long!)

She is one reason why I have hidden my cousin, Racist Brian, on FB.

We should all get Japanese butt-cleaning toilets on principle, not just when we’ve managed to live long enough to need to hire a young person to scream at and accuse of theft.

the same friend group could have had quick failed marriages before the age of 26 does not ring particularly real