I have. And I was so hopeful :(

I mean I love lox as much as the next guy, but on cinnamon raisin? Oh hell no.

ooh I’m not sure how long she believed it, but we convinced our daughter that there used to be teleporters. And in the early 90’s, before she was born, there were several horrible teleporter malfunctions, people rioted, and now teleportation is illegal. We told the story to my dad, who managed to casually drop “The…

my mom’s a nurse too and when I was five and asked where babies came from and she explained it to me very clinically. bluuuuughhggggh I wish I didn't remember that.

My girlfriend Heidi Klum and I always feel bad when kids have to make up stories to make themselves seem more popular.

my favorite one from my religious Jewish school was this particular proof of God’s existence: ice floats. if it didn’t, all the fish would die. therefore, God exists. because the fish. and the ice.

I believed that it was illegal to drive with your dome light on because my dad told me and my siblings that on every long road trip where we desperately wanted to read in the car. I only recently found out that this is just merely annoying for the driver. I'm 26.

When I was about 9, I thought that once you had your period, it was somehow a permanent state of things. Why this thought didn’t upset me really shows how little I knew of periods! Menstruating forever and ever? Oh well! *shrugs, skips away*

My parents told me that the lyrics to Guns n Roses Paraise City were “take me back to Prairie Dog City.” Because I liked prairie dogs in elementary school and used to draw them and write books about them.

I have seen MANY a chapel presentation about the canopy theory lol. Ahh, 13 years of Christian school.

I asked my mom what a tampon was when I was 8-9 years old. My mother, being a nurse, gave me the entire sex talk in the most clinical way possible. There are worst things than lies you could have heard.

I believed everything my father told me. He often sent me to the corner 7-eleven on my bike to buy his cigarettes and a gallon of milk. I was no dummy and understood the importance of the right cigarette brand at the ripe age of 8. On the other hand, blue was my favorite color and I came home a few times with the blue…

I’m the liar.

Aw, poor wee you.

Fuckin’ Chad.

My parents convinced me and my brother that if we were bad they would send us off to a man named ‘mr.simmons’ and he would keep us until we would COMPLY. My sister also pretended to believe this but she was IN ON IT. There was even a name and number in our phone book and when we were bad they would get it out and say…

My dad completely convinced me that cows who lived in mountainous areas had shorter legs on one side of their body so they could graze on the sides of hills. I 100% believed him. So in fifth grade, when we were learning about evolutionary adaptations in animals, like those fish who live in caves that don’t have eyes,…

Last year I went to Europe in the school holidays. When I got back, one of my students told me that she had also been to Europe. She said a famous Youtuber (can’t remember his name) had asked her to go to London with him and she had flown from Brisbane to London, stayed in London two nights and flown home. I was very…

When I was little I went through a phase where I was plotting to run away with a sleeping bag and sleep outside somewhere. I was also, unrelatedly, super scared of dogs. So when my mom caught wind of my plan to run away, she told me that all dog owners let their dogs run free at night. I continued to believe this for…

That my mother was a magical princess. That all of her old ‘80s bridesmaid dresses were her old princess getup. That she had a crystal ball to keep tabs on us when she was at work. I was very, very touched and inspired that she “married down” for love, and admired her magnanimous toleration of her pushy mother-in-law…