I said "Watch out for 9/11 man!" but later I realized they would have no idea what I was talking about

Jameson angrily tweets Jim Beam's home address

Fuck o' the Irish!

AIN'T NOBODY PUNCHES DOWN LIKE STEVE EARLE

There once was a man named Eamon
Who was little more than a dead withered husk whose only pleasure in life came from snuffing out humor wherever he encountered it and he later died alone of canceraids

*sad riverdance*

WHOEVER WINS…WE LOSE

Uh, 1990 called, it said hey remember Wayne's World…good times

This fat fuck?
These fat fucks?

I have never seen Justified.

Fortunately no harm was done, since the only way to put a tack in a wiffle ball is blunt end out

I'd, uh, be careful next time you start your car

CHRIS GAINES > GARTH BROOKS

X angrily tweets Sergei Brin's home address

*hears the lamentation of your women*

HE USED HIS FREE HAND GOD DAMN IT

Uh, that was Jesus who gave you butt loving the other night, but not that Jesus

Could not masturbate to this. F

Drinking for Courage
Drinking to Self-Medicate
Drinking Because Drinking