Maybe we should point out that if they smiled they'd be a whole lot more handsome.

Um, he's being a fucking animal, and you should not stand for this.

UMM 15+6= 21...not 23... I think you'd get left at the altar, too.

My takeaway is that next time I'm having my period I will say "I am in the wardrobe of my Royal Daintiness." So much more quaint than saying it's Shark Week.

You need to start this business. Baby cutting the ribbon on a new park! Baby defending dissertation! Baby putting out a house fire!

I'm going to make my daughters do "future feminists" photo shoots and have them burning bras and holding up pro-choice signs. My mother in law is going to love that!!

The funny thing is, I can't even remember how I ended the conversation. It confused me to the point where my memory stopped working or something. I think we ended up with "Green, it tastes green."

Alabama is tied with West Virginia for the second-worst life expectancy in the US, but I'm sure that's unrelated.

Well, no student loan debt....you gotta admit that part.

I really want to know what 5 is :(.

I wonder if he taps tall people on the shoulder and goes, "Excuse me, sir, could you please stop being so tall? I am TRYING to SEE." (I wish I could do that sometimes.)

I don't know that I understand. So, the fetus' attorney can call witnesses against the pregnant teen girl and they say... what? They're testifying against her getting an abortion, so are they going to say nice things about her? Like, she's totes responsible and will be a great mom and, as such, shouldn't be allowed to…

I love these.

And don't get me started on solution based case planning when it comes to DV.

"She tourniquets her arm at the elbow with an ice pick and towel, washes the blood off, puts the offending knife onto the gas fire, heats it to a nice brick red and...wait for it...cauterize her own arm."

I'd be sympathetic if she had pointed at another patron's table and asked for bread rolls. The woman in this story claimed she'd eaten them before, though, and her friends said the only reason they'd come was for the "free bread." Since they got a comped appetizer that time around too, I'm actually inclined to…

If someone actually has Celiac, they tell you they have Celiac, don't they? So can we all just agree that if someone declares themselves as "allergic to gluten," that they're just an asshole?

:/ come on bb, the lady was a buttface. thus, the laughery.

Truth. We're always saying that we need to marshall social opprobrium against rapists, because the whole point of rape culture is that they bank on nobody really caring or holding anything against them. But then when actual social opprobrium falls on Winston — people showing him open disrespect — we're going to…

THANK YOU! People on one account say that others need to "step up" and say something to shame people do who rape, but when it's done, they don't like the context so it's "trivial" and meaningless? Not getting that. At all.