She is a fancy pants lawyer now. A murder lawyer. And has a very good haircut.

much wow

much wow

In all seriousness, I really needed to read this article. I pretty much hate myself, and can’t see any future where things turn out okay because I believe all the negative things that have been said. I’ve lost a bunch of weight, and regained it all in recent years, which probably hasn’t helped, and I know that I’m…

I should probably admit right now that I am fat myself. I’m barely 5′1″ and 135 pounds and wear a size 6 and a 34DD

Nothing against your comment in particular, but I miss the days when Jez discouraged talking about specific numbers. Now there will be a million comments about whether x height and x weight is really “fat.” Numbers tend to derail the discussion.

I bought all these things, I'm going to need a job, Shane.

I bought all these things, I'm going to need a job, Shane.

I’m dying laughing here, had never heard that euphemism before.

Dialing “0” on the pink telephone, ehh?

Please get it checked by more than one doc. A coworker of mine had her chronic headaches written off and she had blood clots in her brain. I don’t think that’s what this is, but I think that one anecdote is enough to seek multiple opinions.

Umm...nothing. I don't even wear a slightly uncomfortable shoe.

What kind of a moron do you have to be to make a “New Yorkers aren’t nice” joke to a New York audience.

Yes. A million times.

COUGAR. MEOWS.

Yeah, no. Sure, the person will “get over it” in the sense that they won’t be angry or insulted forever. But memories are formed when you make an impression on someone. If you abruptly say “nice talking to you”, spin on your heel and walk away, you sure as hell are making an impression, and not a good one.

We should petition Netflix to add Golden Girls and make our teenage daughters watch it.

I was Blanche-like for a period of time. Not so much these days.

I’m in my early 40s, and the only people I run into where I live who aren’t married or otherwise coupled are idiots who support Donald Trump. Or they bring their 12 year old children on our first date. I will be celibate FOREVER.

As someone who celebrated an anniversary and saved up a long time to go to an expensive restaurant, only to have the couple next to us change their kid’s diaper on the table? I’ve just seen too much.

The most offensive part of this story is that it took 40 minutes to make 3 pancakes at a diner. A DINER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT A DINER IS?! That's a goddamn travesty.

My wife and I consistently have discussions as to whether it’s worth going out to eat with our 2 and 4 year old kids. It’s a crap-shoot at this age. Sometimes they’re happy and distractable and other times they’re fairly inconsolable.