His dog is Portuguese, people forget that

It's not often the victim of accidental gunfire is immediately compelled to buy even more guns.

His dick told the police "I know we've had our share of fistfights but I never thought he'd pull a gun on me."

Placenta.

Kevin Ware Boned Himself Out Of Final Four Appearance

Chew also contributes to receding gum lines, which I'm all for, considering I've been waiting to buy this pack of Hubba Bubba for the better part of an hour.

Did a Kid with a Brain Tumor Really Cut Ronaldo's Hair?

A couple years ago, Lebron did something similar to show support for those who were hardest hit by the recession.

"Dangerously small pool."

I'm not really sure where I stand on all this, Tim.

See, I was once an influential music critic for a small music blog when I was a student in Ann Arbor, and what I'm sure you don't realize is that it's actually a precision-driven and competitive world, assessing culture and framing people's opinions. I nearly came…

Guy in Brazil Jersey: I'm telling you, I'm paralyzed! I have no feeling in my legs. I will never walk again!

I had to read a couple hundred words to find out this guy was speechless.

I really wish the government would get out of sports by not forcing the Redskins to change their name, but also stay involved in sports by keeping gay people out.

Great job done here by Shane McNulty, hurrying the quarterback and causing the bad pass that was picked off. Also a good job by other Shane McNulty, putting the hit on the player pursuing the ball. And an awesome job by the other Shane McNulty, picking off the ball and hustling 93 yards for the touchdown.

I don't know about Skip Bayless twins, but the rampant use of capitalization in emails I get from West Africa suggests that part of the world is flush with Drew Magary types.

Moral victories are nice; three points are nicer.

Ghana already seems to be enjoying their quadrennial "being Googled by Americans" bump.

You'd have thought Tony could have taken a lesson from his numbers and never dipped.