1. I’ve never heard of ‘snatching a knot” in someone’s ass, so I can only assume this was a Freudian slip. Considering he’s a sexually repressed Republican, it becomes clear he just wants to get face deep into someone’s, anyone’s butthole. This sack full of vanilla pudding needs to sit down, hit Craigslist, & handle…

McCain is not a maverick, and he’s not an empathic person. He’s enjoyed the benefits of his taxpayer-funded health care for years without a change of heart, and there’s no reason to believe he’ll sprout a conscience now. His death sentence doesn’t make him a decent human. Cancer doesn’t give a fuck and has taken much…

the Sand Snakes have consistently been some of the most interesting and compelling characters on the show

This is a very Homer Simpson take. What else do you use guns for? Back scratching? Swatting mosquitoes? Turning off the lights in your home?

I’m wary of the cocaine angle because it fills me with false hope. I just don’t see how this quivering sack of toejam could be using cocaine regularly and not have his heart explode. I doubted it during the debates, and I’m sure it’s not the case now.

Too bad you’re killing me, Smalls.

I bet you go to parties repeating obnoxious clichés like , “I bet you’re fun at parties.”

Jeez. Just read the thread. Does the author knows she sounds like Michael Scott?

+30 crying 2nd graders 

Absolutely. It’s infuriating. Nothing comes out of these press conferences except obfuscation and lies, so who gives a fuck if you get kicked out? The first journalist to stand up to them would go viral and be considered a hero. Hell, the first Republican to stand up to Trump would also probably go down in history as…

It’s no small thing! Videos are the most shareable media there is. People are more likely to click a video than read an article or listen to audio. Even a video with a static image and audio isn’t going to hold people’s attention on social media.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes!

Enjoy working yourself to the grave. If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll get to save enough money to enjoy ages 65-70.

I play in a dirtbag baseball league, and a pal brought his radar gun to a game recently. The best I could do was 60. Naturally, I saw the video above and thought, “61? That’s still pretty fast.”

Christ, how are the biggest pricks the most wrong ALL OF THE TIME?

But that rudeness is so, so classy.

Why do the French do anything? Their sexy ways and language are a mystery to me. I’ve seen people put ice in everything from red wine to IPA & Campari (it’s good!), but this article has ice, champagne, and Bill Murray, so I’m going with it as an explainer .

Considering the state of the world, my plan is to just drink any and all things with and without ice. Will have my bases covered that way.

Veuve Clicquot & Moët both have champagnes that are designed to be enjoyed over ice, and my French pals do it at home all the time. In fact, they introduced it to my wife & I.

That’s okay! We all have our blind spots.