I wonder where he’s gonna go do his mental gymnastics now.

I would have sex with a pig to make these people go away.

Ben Carson used to confuse the fuck out of me. Then I saw ‘Get Out’, and NOW he makes sense.

i quit watching black mirror because real life is weirder

When will this episode of the Twilight Zone end.

Yep, my 16 year old sister confirmed that this is because they are hyper aware of their online presence and want to be in control of it. It’s also a signal to your friends not to tag you either, which I get but...why are you posing for a picture in the first place? Why not just decline the photographer or turn your…

I had a group of friends in the late 90s (all black guys—this is relevant) who used to drive every other weekend from Sacramento to fucking Medford, Oregon, to go to an under 21 nightclub (I don’t remember if the minimum age was 18 or 16, but I think 18). When I inquired as to why in the fuck they would drive like 5…

...an under-18 nightclub

She was never on the plane to begin with. She let the plane take off with a dummy pilot, assumed a fake identity, and lived out the rest of her life peacefully as a pottery painter in Des Moines.

I always just thought that she created an island hideaway, ran out of money, had gender reassignment and became DB Cooper, jumping out to return to said hideaway with cash again flowing. Can someone confirm/deny?

Sort of, but this sort of content is beyond the pale. Your argument is basically conflating and after-school prayer group with a Klan rally. As a gay person I think the Pulse thing is skimming the line of inciting violence against gay people. There are reasonable limits.

The first time I heard it, I thought it was Morris Day and the Time circa 1984. They were more horn-heavy than Prince, and I was absolutely convinced that it was a song specifically from Ice Cream Castle that I had never bothered to pay attention to because I was too busy listening to The Bird and/or Jungle Love.

The double standard perfectly illustrated in three tweets. Amazing. And he clearly sees no contradiction whatsoever.

As someone with fetishes, I feel like I can be my truest self by sharing as little with my family as possible.

Well, I don’t want to bum you out, but they had to take the baby at 16 weeks to save my life. I was getting a new clot every week. I did not want to die. They tied my tubes later. Eventually I had a hysterectomy. That was over 20 years ago. But I’m a grandma now, so he kinda makes up for it. Thanks for your kindness.

I had my vagina swell shut after a colposcopy and the doctor told me it was ‘psychological’ because it’s impossible to be allergic to the stuff they use. Yes I made my vagina swell shut with my mind....

I just have to have scans every five years to see...see what? who knows.

I don’t know if it’s gross or inappropriate or just fucking rude, but my ob/gyn when I was pregnant with my second child told me to stop being such a baby and quit whining when I came into his office with a blue, swollen arm. I had a PICC line with a heparin pump because I have two clotting diseases and May-Thurner…

Fuck that doctor. The condom situation is so incredibly common.

Grossest: “Well, it’s not as bad as the last person that came in with a abscess. She leaked all over the floor and we had to replace the carpet.”