Yeah, if we want to be shallow (and why the hell not, this is a Dirt Bag post), we can point out that Jen has since moved on to a younger and very handsome man who appears to bathe far more often than her ex. Why would anyone think that she’s still secretly pining for Pitt?

Jennifer Aniston is half Greek. (Look for pictures of her with her original nose.) Being half Greek myself, I am well aware of the astonishing durability of grudges in that particular culture. (I believe this to be a common feature of Mediterranean and Middle Eastern cultures, but Greeks really elevate it to an art…

The fact that you DIDN’T have a glass of wine, even after that intense craving, is an amazing achievement. You should feel really proud of yourself for that!

Hi there, internet stranger--

Hey, friend. Four years is an AMAZING achievement. You are kicking ass every single day. Hang in there like a kitten on the poster in your grade school guidance counselor’s office. Internet *high fives* and *hugs* for you today. Keep on being awesome.

Just moved to Wisconsin a few months ago. I have a late work day today, so I’m heading to my city hall to register in a few minutes.

I also liked Jerry Springer’s tweet

And Trump came across as my tweaked-out, ignorant, sexist, narcissistic and abusive father.

Even if he did in fact deserve credit for Obama showing his birth certificate ... what exactly is the accomplishment there? So the frenzy you whipped up, which was bullshit, has been proven to be bullshit. .... Congrats????

If he had Huntington’s disease, he’d have been dead thirty years ago.

He was a big fat baby with a limited vocabulary, no prep, and all the markings for a pathological liar. Thank god there were no drinking games here tonight because we’d all have been in the ER by minute 15. It got really surreal towards the end. Even my period came back in feminist protest. Too bad there’s not enough…

When YOUR head literally goes up your own ass on the largest live stage ever, well then, Julianne, YOU can talk! (about twitches and fidgets). HE HAD THE BEST FIDGEtS! [BEST DEBATE EVER]

sorry everyone

So many people have devoted 25+ years of their lives to obtaining a PhD, academic research, and writing to teach at a world renowned university. If Angelina Jolie was teaching my class I would want my money back.

Of course they are, because so many people are suddenly being so intolerant toward their intolerance!

Who’s more sensitive, someone who experiences emotional distress at discussions of sexual assault, or someone who experiences emotional distress over a sign warning people who might feel emotional distress at discussions of sexual assault?

The only one I give a pass for being longer is Game of Thrones, if only because I like the animations to it.

I dunno, the “maybe don’t take our children into a war zone where even UN convoys are bombed” is not that bad a tack . . .