No. I don’t care how much the guy sucks, I wouldn’t wish glioblastoma on anyone. It took my grandmother in six months and it’s awful.

You’re a tremendous asshole.

Uhh thousands? Plus it takes up to months to get a wedding dress in. These brides are likely now going to have to buy off the rack which depending on their size, could be near impossible. They may not have much of a choice.

I was obese growing up and bullied every day. It was only recently when I heard that a type of behavior was assault, and I in fact had been not only bullied but assaulted (spat on, held down and kicked etc.) One day, one of my worst tormentors was doing some awful thing to me and I just punched him in the nose. I ran…

Lorde rocks, and so does Taylor Swift, and if you don’t think so that’s OK too.

1) I am unable to keep up with rapper names and genuinely thought Ferrari in question was the Italian car maker, so trying to parse what I was reading was... Difficult at the beginning.

Rotties!

I’m a big singer-for-every-little occasion too. When I come home at night I sing, “I know what dogs want...I know what dogs like...Dogs like! Dogs like! Dogs like ME!”

I’ll never get why its so goddamn hard to divorce someone. Even the easiest divorces have to go through a lengthy and paperwork heavy legal process. Someone in the comments on jezebel recently wrote that marriages should be like drivers licenses, you have the option to renew or not after x amount of years.

They literally have beach police who will come around who will stop you if your hole gets to any decent size and they will fill in your hole.

This is cool.

Our family has a long standing tradition that any celebration involving cards, the card must be totally inappropriate, addressed to someone else, and signed by someone else.

Mine too! He shaved it once when I was little and I cried for a week.

Mine has a mustache!

♫ I believe that prison is you future... ♫

I can’t decide if you’re really weird, really cool, or both.

Julie Andrews is the classiest woman ever. Although I can’t help wondering if there’s a tiny bit of shade in the idea that Andrews showing up even for a moment would outshine the entire movie. (Which, all due respect to Emily Blunt, is absolutely true.)

Like it’s her fault? And also, she is doing it to raise money. Hypothetically you wouldn’t have to go. Others would in support of your hypothetical daughter

There really needs to be a word for secondhand embarrassment. That is what I do have.