Yeah I want to look freaking pretty on my wedding day, but aside from that? Nah, don’t super care, so long as the food is good :D And we have zero plans to actually marry, because we’re about as legally secure as we can get and it’s a big bother...

I don’t love anybody but I have too many friends. I’ve been a bridesmaid five times. FIVE TIMES. Apparently I’m just too lovable.

The ONLY thing I regret was not going in big for the dress. I bought a new white sundress sort of on a whim the weekend before, but it wasn’t the same and I would do that differently. Everything else? Totally worth it.

We eloped (officiant in the park and a photographer), then had a big party at our house, but no fancier than the usual summertime parties we normally would throw.

The baby has his mother’s eyes and his father’s neck tattoos

Would eat one daily living in VN...cost a buck! LOVE!!! Also could go to All u can eat buffets and cook it up yourself for $3! Also Eggs!!!! Soft boiled for Me!!

A GREAT IDEA I WILL DO THIS NEXT

I really hope that all the Dan S rumours over the years are just that, rumours, and he fades quietly into the night.

She was charming! I want her to do more story times.

Ahhhh! I just watched this and OMG.

Haha, I loved this! Thanks.

I’d always assumed it was about Diddy, but she named some celebrity or athlete on an episode of the Breakfast Club that it could be. I don’t feel like finding the clip now but I’ll probably go back and watch.

Also - I think the SADDEST thing about that story was his line about Spanx lying and she thought it was SO SWEET. No honey, that was a fucking swipe, and not a tender one.

Well, despite the many, many troubling implications, she tells that story very well and keeps it funny throughout. Still. Gross.

oh my god

I’m torn between feeling really bad for her and thinking she needs to take a hard cold look at her life choices.

Good thing there’s a better book choice out there for all of us, just in time for Easter-

Not to be flip, but utterly sincerely, can we all just fucking quit Facebook already?
Like what more does it have to do.

No disrespect to Emily; this is a good exercise for those on there.
But are we not better than this utter bullshit?

This will never not be my first thought when I hear the name Steve.

I still have that entire song/rap memorized. All the stars for you.