Shout out to all of my fellow weird named people who got teased mercilessly for something you had no control over :/

I’m trying so hard to figure out what the point of these shirts even are. Are these the t-shirt equivalent of the White Opinions lady? Because that’s about as close as I can get to making any sense of them.

Another GTer got me (and plenty others) on board with the idea of switching to kaftans. Now that I work from home half the week, I am so looking forward to making my at-home non legging wardrobe totally Liz Taylor cosplay.

How soon till double dutch comes back as the next hipster workout craze?

I kind of hate how much Amazon is a staple in my life, but they fulfill so many of my needs :(

HBO through Prime is actually better than HBO Go, it has access to live streaming.

Barbie, girl, do not give this Ken access to your Malibu Dream House. It’ll just end in heartbreak.

My dad was especially good with awkward head pats.

One time I was arguing with my boyfriend on AIM (lol), and my dad walked in and saw me crying. I was so upset that I didn’t tell him why I was crying. Being my dad and not knowing what to do about my emotions, he left the room and came back with $60 in cash, then laid it down next to my computer and left. Thanks, dad.

I just assume one of the babies born now will finally figure out time travel and save us all.

Clearly he has seen her butthole because he was probably weighing his options on whether or not to even ask if she would.

Ernest Borgnine’s daughter made Borgnine’s Coffee Soda, and my grocery store carried it for briefest of time. I’ve been looking for it again ever since, it’s really lovely!

I’m the same way. Really easy to make acquaintances, but when it comes to actual friends who will bring me cold medicine when I’m sick? Not really.

Wengie is basically a human bubblegum with an Australian accent, and I’m not mad.

Happy she’s putting herself back together, but did anyone really need clarification on that?

Is it more acceptable if I’m holding a dead fish that’s wrapped in plastic in the middle of the grocery store?

My #1 most hated question I get asked on dates is, “So what do you do for fun?”I have no idea where to start or if I should just tell them I spend so much time at work that fun is optional.

I suppose it’s either dating or seeing each other. Seeing holds less weight in my mind, so maybe that’s it. Long relationships that are established are broken up, short term things I think would be just ending things.

It was actually the first thing I said after the movie ended. “Aw man! Steve Mnuchin?!” Then my date suggested dinner to get my mind off of it. It sorta helped, but I was salty about it. Same way I was salty about it after watching the credits to Keanu.