You’re a good girl, Zsa Zsa!  ...though no one should’ve ever let you have puppies.  Knowing there’s five years worth of Zsa Zsa’s running around is a bit horrifying.

I am a petite white woman, and I love the power trip that comes with playing very large men who just punch things into dust.  Maybe one day I, too, can punch something into dust...

Well, gosh darn. I guess I’m just gonna have to keep hold of my V-card. 

Starting countdown to parade of white men open carrying.

Good lord!

How do your make 13 steps out of putting on a condom? Are there a few stages of self flagellation and begging God for forgiveness for circumventing His divine will via latex? Does it involve avoiding eye contact with the cashier?

I’ll bring a keg.

It feels like Christmas in Missouri. ☺️

My best friend’s husband took her name because he haaaaaaaaaaates his father. It was a giant middle finger to him, and simultaneously made her very happy since their family’d only had daughters and were resigned to having that name end.

I remember my sister’s first car. It had doors from four other cars, lovingly chosen from the car graveyard.

Cute. He suspends the Clean Water Rule, appoints a guy who thinks mercury in our water isn’t an issue because Japan eats a lot of fish, and then does this with the Clean Drinking Water Act.

Have to join the chorus on being underwhelmed by Legend. And it’s not just the awful attempts at high notes (look up Colm Wilkinson doing Gethsemane for a wonderful version sans high notes), he just... didn’t emote well. I guess I just have come to expect Diva Breakdown Jesus.

That’s pretty much my plan. “Here’s a grill, the food for the grill, some beer, and the floor. Have fun!”

Jeez, if my asexual 30-something virgin ass can grok on to “abstinence only” being a crock of shit, these fuckers ain’t got no excuse.

Given all the weird porn we put out this is the least surprising thing ever.

Obligatory.

If you want it, let’s do it - riding my Lapras. 🎶