Good dog. BEST DOG.

I know you’re right. I was just riding the crest of my disappointment. I will have patience! My time will come!

Why couldn’t he have waited a couple weeks. :( Mini-me bought some really low stock during the 2008 recession, and it ALMOST got to my pie-in-the-sky at the time sell price two days ago. ALMOST.

One of my Mom’s cousins took advantage of this. His mother was DETERMINED for him to join the priesthood, and sent him off to get the best religious schooling possible for a mud-farming Irish family. Right before the point of no return, he ran away from the school and joined the army. By that point he could speak…

Nuns are legit insane. One of my evil grandmother’s cousins went to Australia with her order back in the 1920s and they pretty much built a town. For, like, forty years they just built and built, and the last thing they built was their own retirement home.

Paint paisley penises all over them! For, you you know, the enjoyment of tourists. And so the tarps go right back on them again.

I feel disproportionately accomplished to find out I hold pencils properly.

Evgenia won the gold in my heart! 💖

Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. And let’s not forget my distinguished governor’s penchant for trying to avoid MO’s sunshine law by using an app that doesn’t allow screenshots and automatically deletes messages. And his unwillingness to share with the public how much his inauguration cost. And the delightful way he…

I kinda want to send them all of teenage me’s BL manga. I know it’d only add fuel to the fire, but I do need to find a place to offload these things.

I want to be Jeremy Irons’ ascot.

Pretty sure I’ve seen that porn.

Alina is fantastic, but stuff like this is why Evgenia is my fave. She’s delightful.

Something something something “but she has the body of a woman” something.

I wish you the best of luck! I hope you have an easier time of it than my mom had with Evil Grandma. She probably would’ve had to sign away rights to her firstborn if he was in any shape to be signed away. It’s ridiculous. And I’m super happy your kids have a good grandma to look forward to!

I’ve been trying and trying to think of any good reason to abolish chain migration and I THINK I FINALLY FOUND ONE! Without my immigrant mother’s sponsorship, my evil grandmother would have never set foot on US soil and contaminated it with her eldritch miasma. As we speak, her decomposing body contaminates the soils…

After I joked at work about someone making room for their luggage for a road trip by tying their kids to the roof, no one asks anymore why I don’t want kids.

I care about chamber music. :( I like Death and the Maiden and am looking forward to hearing this performance of it. :(

Yeah, while my boss is super chill and likes to send me the most insane “look what liberals are doing now!” articles just to get my hippy-dippy hackles to rise, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t appreciate a hearty round of “Hail Satan!” by the coffee machine. Gotta pick your battles carefully when your boss is a pastor.