I plan on Snoutjazzling my dog's nose with the first one.

Would you settle for this?

Very sullen. So cheekbones. Much ennui. Wow.

Is Vermont also one of the states where if I die in the first trimester of pregnancy my family will not be forced to watch in horror as my dead body is hooked up to machines to gestate a oxygen deprived fetus? Especially if I made my wishes clear in a legal document? Because if so, I am moving.

I doubt I am going to convince Steve, but I believe that the reporting and subsequent inspecting showed that it was not a witch hunt against conservatives. Words like "progressive" and "occupy" were flagged too. There's a lot of reporting on this to read and consider. And no evidence that Obama ordered it…

Christie has never said he wants to be president,he has plenty to eat at home.

What have the people of Chicago have done to deserve looking at Rush Limbaugh naked?

Reminds me of the time I bought a bottle of champagne and a can of cat food at my CVS and the cashier asked me if my cat and I were celebrating something special tonight.

I'm 5'2", my ass is nowhere near that big, but my hips are similar in proportion. My hips can't fit in any less than size 6 pants. My waist is bigger than hers, but I don't go up to a 6 so it fits in the waist, I go up to a 6 so I can sit down without my pants exploding.

I was once behind a couple that was buying strawberries, champagne, latex gloves, and an enema kit. They were clearly up for a rowdy evening.

Of course she uses Photoshop. She's a Hobbit.

That girl is not the Hobbit! Why you all keep saying that?

Oh, fiddlesticks!

Obamacare just keeps getting weirder and weirder.