I've tried coke, but what is this newfangled "c*caine" business???

wtf? You buy a plunger like a goddamn adult.

They shouldn't bother. 15 feet doesn't make any difference to the animal's health or well-being.

Amen.

I somehow missed the part where this is in Florida. Not surprised.

Most 16 year old girls go to parties knowing they'll get drunk. That's why they go to parties. That doesn't make them less wonderful people.

"Yes. I also feel uncomfortable calling people from India "Indians.""

tldr

You come across as really insecure.

Wow, so fucking pleasant over here! No one wonder everyone Gawker calls you guys raging assholes.

Hi, I go to the University of Minnesota and live near Dinkytown. Just wanted to say a few things.

They're actually really easy to ignore, if you never ever go to those subreddits. I love /r/makeupobsession. Judging reddit for this is like judging Twitter because the KKK has an account.

Well the Soup is television clips, and Tosh.0 is YouTube clips. Same idea, but the Soup is actually funny.

Other people like childish humor even though you don't.

"I before E, except after C."

You forgot to include the pinnacle of her artistic career, Michelle Obama.

Jesus, I hate transition sunglasses. Complete deal breaker. I don't care if it's Brad Pitt, Ryan Gosling, Benedict Cumberbatch, whoever... If he's wearing transition sunglasses, I'm fucking done.

You can hear me talk at the end about slamming a pie on top of a teacher's head

I still feel bad for Doug :( I wonder what he's doing right now.

I actually really like the tights. I don't understand the hate at all. I think sheer black tights are sexier than opaque black tights because you can actually see some leg.