This Carrier business is ridiculous. Could you imagine if Obama tried something like that. Also, are free-market loving Republicans really ok with the soon to be highest ranking government official telling a private company what to do?

Kellyanne reminds me of a worn-out, fucked up animatronic at a pizza restaurant where the one eye doesn’t open all the way.

Such a ridiculous double standard when it comes to catching your spouse masturbating. The few times I’ve caught my wife or found out about it later I’m like “Hey now, that’s hot...want some company?” But whenever she catches me it’s all “Gross! What’s wrong with you? At least wait until the funeral is over!”

Nobody cares about your boner, Henry VIII.

every star possible.

Never lose your phone again, it sounds like a real jerk!

I laid my phone down at a party once, next thing I know there is a cross burning in my neighbor’s yard.

Mine posted questions about Obama’s birth certificate.

My phone carjacked a white lady with two little boys strapped in the back and drove it into a lake.

You need to send your phone through the liberal cycle on your washer. Clearly it’s infected.

“I lost my phone once and next thing I know it had denied an African American family housing and refused to sell a cake to a gay couple.”

Lucky. Mine just up and sent dick-pics to underage girls.

Congrats good sir (or ma’am) you win the internet today.

I hear you. I turned my back on my phone for one second and in that time it was trying to sell counterfeit prescription drugs to some elderly immigrants who didn’t speak great English.

All the stars.

That’s so funny cause I had my phone stolen and I posted a racist photo of .. I can’t think of anything cause I was raised to NOT support the KKK but I am black so <excuses> #sarcasm

And the poors.

In front of a lit up “STOP” sign no less. Not that these fools should need a sign from the universe to reconsider their actions.

“The mother of one of the male cheerleaders in the photograph told WDAF that there was “no racial motivation and the boys were simply taking pictures in sweaters they have had for a long time.””