I have to stop watching this-it's gettin' HAWT in hurr.

Bad women can kick ass. Also she has voiced Leila on Futurama for years who (although a cartoon cyclops) is the very definition of a kick ass woman.

GIF of JLO aging over the span of 20 years.

By all accounts, he is.

here's my sex spreadsheet

It is actually the best practice for sheep to keep them in smaller pens and rotate them to new areas very frequently. They still have room to run around, but they always get very fresh new grass that has not been pooped on, and it lowers the exposure to parasites. If you give them access to the whole pasture at once,…

Don't worry. They get rotated to lots of different pastures.

Among the Jezebel staff we have a conspiracy theory that the Kardashians were created in a lab by a group of A-list celebrities to soak up all the tabloid attention.

paris is a racist, cokehead, who was arrested for driving intoxicated...Kim was just smart enough to branch out and not say offensive things in public or like drive intoxicated. You can say whatever you want about Kim but she was never an ass to anyone in public.

OMG PARIS HILTON EYE I have it, too, Mark, but it's because I have glaucoma. I met Paris back in 2000 when she was thinking about going to Barnard (we are the same age and she did not attend). It was at a prospective student brunch and she had a gorgeous blue coat and a uniformed driver to take her home. She was…

You guys remember when Perez Hilton had a baby for the attention?!?!?!!?

She had RIDICULOUS chemistry with Jude Law. She had better chemistry with him than Sienna Miller, who was his actual girlfriend at the time.

All I can think of.

I approve.

I dunno, Angelina and Billy Bob were both pretty weird at the time. A pair of oddly-matched weirdos, if you will.

oversight ALERT :

I feel an overwhelming urge to thank you for studying/suffering through learning all of that so the rest of didn't have to.

Starred for use of the word "dunce".

Selena Gomez seems like a really boring dunce.