*slips inside suitcase with twenty bottles of Knob Creek*

GOD DAMMIT I FUCKING HATE GUNS. Come at me, Internet, I don’t care.

I refuse to watch the video.

is he really that recongnizable? he looks like every tech industry guy ever.

Is BARTENDr the one where you swipe left and right until you find someone that will get drunk with you?

It's the Goldschlager of the new millennium.

Fireball - the Zima of the 2010’s.

Yes! I don’t think I’m an old but WTF is a drinking app?? Does it tell you your BAC? Warn you when you’re about to make poor decisions? Alert the authorities when you pass out? Order new drinks from the bar when yours runs low???

I’m also in my sixties, and except for one or two things, it’s pretty cool.

cosigned, abn0rmal, age 48

I’m 46, and I love your list.

you’re only 30 and you’re a Sisters of Mercy fan? how is that even possible?

In no particular order:

Too old to read these comments about how everyone is “too old” in their early fucking twenties.

See now, that’s why I didn’t go to grad school.

25 year old here. Hence is the list of shit I Am Too Fucking Old For. No regrets, no looking back.

I just turned 50 and hoooo boy, just you wait, honey. The shit don’t get real until 50.

Here ya go:

Hospitaliano is a word trademarked by Olive Garden to describe the warm and accepting way they will treat you when you are there. Unless they are closing or you have touched someone’s butt as that person was leaving. Then they kick you out. No more hospitaliano.

Holy shit, Olive Garden is struggling? Where are middle Americans eating instead?