Well the dogs didn't commit suicide.

It says something about my general misanthropy that I'm most upset about the 3 dogs.

"He feels betrayed because he claims Katie never gave him any warning she was leaving him."

Khloe

Knotty fucking Pine for the win!

You're doing God's work with all these. SO MANY GOODERS

Oh, Delia, honey. I could make your toes curl with stories. Our Prime Minister is racist, for goodness sake.

The other day I witnessed a mother grabbing her (13 year old?) son by the front of his shirt and saying "don't you EVER do that again" for being snotty to the cashier at a coffee shop.

Roger Miller's story is why I always overtip for delivery. I get pizza so hot I can't even eat it yet, and the Indian place sends a free dessert every time. Mmmm mango mousse. I don't get why anyone would be shitty to the person who is saving me from having to cook and wash dishes.

I wish I was rich enough to participate in this boycott.

Even children aren't paying Willy Moon proper respect.

Fun fact: more people in NZ signed a petition to fire her than have bought her last album.

My meltdown was over food too. My junior year of college, I was so in love with a guy who was in love with me too, but in a three year relationship. He would later dump his girlfriend, date me for six months, dump me, and then get back together with his original girlfriend. They later got married.

I once witnessed a friend's child sob "YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE... AND MY DAY!"

This is a story of how one of the worst days of my life ended up reaffirming my faith in strangers and in the human race in general.

as a too-old-to-throw-tantrums child, 8 or 9, after a day hiking, Dad would not let me bring my walking stick home in the car. My filthy, rotting, branch I'd been using as a walking stick. Complete meltdown, screaming sobbing in the mud;

Contact the author at mark.shrayber@jezebel.com.