There were babies (well, more like toddlers) at the baby shower! Lovely hyperactive toddlers running around and locking doors and climbing all over things.

I bought them from Chapters/Indigo. Damn.

I don't have a receipt though. Will it still be okay?

Thank you!

I need 2000 Chris Pratt to rescue me from a band of unsavoury men set on defiling my person. Preferably, he will rescue me on horseback while wearing a kilt. My bosom will be heaving appropriately as I gaze into his cerulean blue orbs.

They're about a year old. I tried them with 3 different devices to make sure. But they only cost $30 so I figured there wouldn't be a warranty.

I bought them a year ago but they're only $30 so I didn't think they'd be under warranty.

True! But sadly, I have not seen Carlos either.

I ate too many honey roasted peanuts. My stomach is growling in displeasure and wrath.

Yeah but then I'd work my baby magic. I have great facial expressions and wide lullaby repertoire. That baby'd be reaching for my hair with slobbery fingers in no time!

Nooooooo. You have my deepest sympathies.

Perhaps you need to invest in wigs? Wigs for every occasion! Every emotion! Every t-shirt!

Oh no!

Randomness:

I'd totally get married in this dress. PERFECTION.

Oh dear. That sounds ominous.

Thanks!

Thanks! I hate not being able to check the menu online beforehand.

Are you familiar with UrbanSpoon? I haven't used it but my dad does. Is it shady like Yelp or more balanced?

Fabulous Dirt Bag, Rebecca!