It’s time like this when Donald Sterling misses being a minority owner.

Jesus, remember when kickball was a thing all the hipsters did and how annoying it was? This is immeasurably worse.

“This” is a weird spelling of Ivanka.

We have a new tasting room/bar that opened in the neighborhood. There’s a new “lifestyle” development, with new restaurants (two james beard award winners!) shopping and apartments/office space. Anyhow, things are still opening, construction is still going on, but the tasting room got opened and it’s withing walking…

You shit yourself at work during a meeting. It’s obvious to all present—they can hear it, smell it and, as you run out of the room, see it.

No, they only named it softball to trick vikings into playing it.

That’s a bullshit way to break up a no-hitter. 

This is the stupidest line of logic. Get these drivers hired elsewhere, Uber hires new people that are still getting screwed over. How about we just improve conditions for these drivers so that the problem stops rather than glibly suggesting they get new jobs.

So the basic complaint here is they didn’t correctly guess what you wanted, and you didn’t tell them.

Get well Drew.

Can’t tell you how many text messages I exchanged with friends seriously worrying about the health of a person I have never met and will likely never meet.

“And when he needed them, they kinda just looked the other way.”

No kidding. What I usually do, and this has always worked, is put the weed in a small ziploc bag, then duck tape around the bag a few times, then put that bag in another bag, then put the whole thing in a third ziploc. Then I stuff it down into a small jar of peanut butter, cut a six inch slit in my stomach just below…

The relief of tension once you reach the front of the line—it could be seven, eight hours—

Or don’t use carrots and sticks and just do what we did before the internet: don’t fucking go to the restaurant again. You aren’t important. You don’t need to publish your opinion online like it’s the equivalent of a NYT restaurant review.

This was just the first link (heh) I found

...attorney and fellow wrestling coach...

Borg was probably going to be a “line judge” in that limo.  I can understand his haste.

When was the last time he did that?

Maybe it’s the haughtiness of the prose that struck me, more than the volume of words. I also had a hard time because when I read “submission ritual” — which is a really good name for a 90's death metal album so thank you — my eyes involuntarily rolled into the back of my head and I had to have someone else read me…