Everything you say makes sense. In hindsight, analysis and parsing of comments brings insight. Sometimes you just want to respond with a general notion to something, without it being the final or only word on a subject, you know? I appreciate that you’ve taken the time to point this out, and want you to know I don’t…

Thank you so much for this. It’s a win for civility and dialogue!

FFS. I am a 47 year old childless woman. That is not what I was saying. Why are people so determined to be offended?

It IS an unfortunate comment, and there’s been a lot of back and forth already on this thread discussing the complexities. I’ve apologized several times. I made no assumptions about those who projected all manner of characteristics onto me and tried to engage with them instead.

I’m not sure which of my comments this is responding to, or if was meant to be in response to someone else. I have nothing against penetration! I am pro-penetration!

Honestly, I understand. God the internet is such a breeding ground of anger and hatred. It’s painful when you realize you’re mostly on the same side and someone is super pissed at you. I really will be more careful in the future. Thank you for your perspective, it’s been helpful.

Just re-read this comment and realized that it was the 90s when I first had that notion that’s getting me into so much trouble here. You’re right in saying “by now” most people know there is way more fluidity, and I think that includes me too. I haven’t even really given voice to that thought in ages. Not sure why I…

That’s a fair point. Although my comment was more a general musing than a reaction to Tom Ford. But nobody reading that would know it from the context. I don’t like gay men being demonized either. And you’re right we do still fall into traps. Thankfully I have the gracious commentariat to set me right, in their oh so…

Okay I never said that gay men or effeminate men are exaggerations. I said I felt like the femininity is exaggerated. I think in many people’s minds, there’s probably no difference between the two. And I am open to examining my own internalized homophobia, even though on a more conscious level I want everyone to love…

That’s certainly a fair point although not fair to level it solely at me. That’s what most people reacting to the article are doing.

You seem to have a tendency to read an entire lifetime of homophobic invective into singular thoughts or phrases. Maybe it feels good to pop off, and maybe you feel righteous doing it because you are on the right side of history, but it doesn’t do much to further empathy and understanding. My guess is you’ve been hurt…

I’m not trying to police anything. I’m not telling anyone how to behave. All I did was give voice to a reaction that I typically keep to myself, for obvious reasons. I realize it is on the dodgy side of what is rightfully deemed “correct”.

I apologize.

Yes I realized that and commented it to someone else on the thread. Cheers.

Where is the policing in my comment? I don’t blame you for being angry about misogyny and homophobia at all. And I am open to learning about my own internalized isms. But your style of engagement is a bit over the top and not exactly productive. Sorry to offend.

Great comment, and helpful. Thanks.

This is a great comment, thanks. I did come back to respond to another comment by saying I thought “appropriation” is the wrong word. I don’t know. Some people are highly offended by what I said, which I regret. I’m open to having someone point out to me, in a reasonable fashion so I’m able to actually receive it and…

Thanks, it’s great to know you’re reading and projecting and assuming. Keep up the fair work.

Thanks, you too.

Yes, appropriation is the wrong word. Perhaps it’s more the exaggeration part. Anyway, you’re right, feel how you want to feel.