Some have suggested that Incognito is the definition of a Schiano Man, but he sounds more like a Zimmer Man to me.

I think I'm the thermostat whisperer. Somehow, I've never met a thermostat I couldn't program without a manual. If I can't program your thermostat, your thermostat is broke, and you need to get that shit replaced and have me come over again next weekend to make it work.

If I could trade a day off in Christmas for a day off instead in the Summer I would take that deal. Also, I'd get a ton of work done while everyone else is celebrating when a lady gave birth to God's son (who was also God, which totally makes sense!).

It takes a Village, People.

I'm just going to be "That Guy" and say that I enjoyed this show beginning to end.

Don't care what anyone says, I loved Voyager.

Working in retail on a holiday fucking sucks. Aside from having to work, customers seem to forget that you are the one having the shitty day and are EXTREMELY HORRIBLE. Three years of working on Christmas Eve was enough to make me never ever want to work in retail again.

"Boy is my face red" -Rick Reilly

Cool story, but what caused your traumatic brain injury?

Carson should have sent Bednarik to take care of Gifford.

Finally logged into healthcare.gov. It's a cookbook.

Isn't think about the point the rest of the world imposes economic sanctions and bombs the shit out of y'all until the United States starts acting like a function democracy run by grown-ups instead of swivel-eyed loons?

Because they didn't want to risk living in Cabot Cove.

I love Poo-pourri. It's not embarrassment, but I think not sharing your odor is courteous, and it encapsulates the stench very well. I bought it for my niece when she left for college as part of a survival kit, and she and her roommate loved it. That being said, you have to read the directions. You use it BEFORE you…

Quit hating on people that hate pooping. I have Crohn's disease, so I literally poop All The Time. And it really fucking stinks (literally and figuratively). I'm over the embarrassment of it because I'm only 25 and have already had this for 10 years, and, everyone who knows me knows. But you know what? I hate smelling…

I have some mint drop things I bought at an Asian grocer that I use before pooping in public spaces. I nearly cried tears of joys when I discovered it.

As much as I want to agree that this whole "Girls Don't Poop" business is ridiculous, I would buy this product. Furthermore, I would want others to buy it too! Because at the end of the day, who wants to walk into a public toilet stall (or any toilet) that reeks of shit?

And I'll bet Bradshaw couldn't even spell "fuck" if you spotted him the "f" and the "k".

I was going to hate-watch Hasselbeck on Monday but I can't remember the childlock code we put on FoxNews.