Mine is like a hybrid between you and attackcat, haha. My response to them: Mushrooms, Scotch, Red Wine and Adderall or Valium. It's so hard for me to pick between those two.

Mine was almost yours- Mushrooms, Scotch, Red Wine and Adderall or Valium. It's so hard for me to pick between those two.

As somebody who frequently drinks bourbon neat, have you ever had champagne? Don't let her effervescence fool you into thinking she's dainty or for the faint of heart.

Sorry, y'all. My poor life decisions tried to make the final 2 between Mushrooms and Scotch.

Hahaha no it was from a secret santa.

I'm wearing a shirt for a college which I've never even been to the state it's in, missing work, hung over, and eating mac and cheeze from the pan!

Okokok. So I know this isn't really appropriate because it's not a story of interruption, but I'm just so excited that I want to shout it from the rooftops.

Apparently this has happened more than once when I wasn't around, but a few months back my husband was getting dressed for work and one of our cats is just... staring at his penis, right? She casually walks over to him, gets on her hind legs and very gently bats at it. I lose my shit, laughing hysterically.

I'm in Wisconsin, and the first 40 degree day this year I was on the verge of tears for the entire half-mile walk to my work.

According to a closer look, it's Gainesville, GA!

Fuck. Are you telling me I can't major in Miley? I was going to get a BS in Miley as preparation for a Masters in Bynes.

This is why, you don't know it, but we're best friends.

Well... That would make the most sense.

I have a new respect for Young Jeezy thanks to your post. I appreciate that he has a song where the chorus is on the importance of tipping your strippers.

I've only been a few times, but I feel as though you should give at least a dollar for every dance if you're at the stage. I've never sat anywhere other than the stage so I don't know how the rules change, but I do think it's shitty to intentionally sit somewhere to have to pay the dancers less. Of course there are…

I don't know dude, I really really don't. I can't tell you how many times I've had this exchange (with people who claim to believe in tipping their servers):

Agreed. I'm not surprised that vodka beat scotch, but I'm still unhappy.

Dear Vodka:

Do you know what hurts? CAFFEINE.

Woo team Xanax!

...we're all too excited for team Xanax...