I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Emails!

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I think you poached someone else's pun.

…Is he just Finnerty?

I don't think the ASPCA is going to like you feeding Ol Butterscotch all that weed though.

Do not disassemble Number 5!

Not to be confused with *New* Mexicans, who are entirely mythical.

But now you have the freedom to be a creator! And make porn! In a dark alley! For chump change!

You don't say!

Doug Christie is LITERALLY the last name I'd expect on an article about NBA hookups.

More like Sexy Job, Internet!, amirite?

The speed limit on the interstate through here is 80. I am whelmed with … apathy.

This is intentional on the AV Club's part.

RIP Chuck Barris

This is hitting at least 3 of my deepest, most disturbing fantasies right in the sweet spot…

At least 5 of those comparisons work as "you vs. the man she tells you not to worry about"

It's taking all my might to not go back to that well.

Not Dairy Queen? What kind of fucked up misogynistic fast food patriarchy is this anyways?

no, somebody else's baby. Steve King is furious.

Someone hasn't seen THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE.