Yeah. People have no idea what they are saying or doing on deep, significant levels. I find this astounding because I was raised to be very thoughtful about, well, everything. That's not to say I am claiming perfection or higher moral standards, but god damn, I didn't get away with silly shit. I was always forced to…

Yeah. These attitudes are not surprising. And even if these women don't necessarily think their black neighbors should be enslaved, they think about it so cavalierly. People are a trip.

She meant Plessy v Ferguson. She was very clear and our subsequent conversation made that clear.

Not shocking. A significant portion of our population thinks that slavery is no big deal, I mean it's something to be gotten over, it was 200 years ago, Jesus. It's not like anyone in my family was a slave (wrong) or slaveowner (wrong).

I do appreciate your thoughtful take on things.

I'm not sure I said it should be damning, at least that was not what I meant. What I mean is that she should not be absolved of the fact that she did something stupid, if that makes sense. She needs to own it and call it what it is and so do others grappling with white privilege, which is, incidentally all of us,…

I couldn't agree more with part of your statement, it could never feel like a good thing to do. And I always think, why? I think the way you've put it here really touches on something really basic and important.

She's just so admirable. So happy she is getting better and better.

Yes, I responded to something similar below. I can see that as a former teacher, however she's from the United States and in the entertainment industry, so, I feel that's not an excuse. In any case she knows about it now and hopefully is doing a little professional development to learn more about it. (Don't laugh)

Actually, yes, I'm quite sure, you just sounded patronizing to me. I was going to come back and write that you may not have intended that, but I see you did from your response. Anyway, you have a great day.

Your tone is a little patronizing, but trust. I take responsibility for my words and actions, always. Glad to hear you do to.

Hmm. It may be. I could see that though I was a teacher and presented a lesson or eight on it.

This. Exactly. Just because you say you're sorry or you didn't mean to hurt someone doesn't make it ok that you did. People have this bad. I'm so glad you said this.

I tend to believe that intent is not really anything. Intent only means something to the person committing the offense and, in the case of -isms, to those who don't fully understand the nature of that -ism. I don't know about your background but it's easy to argue the importance of intent when you're not the butt of…

How ever she was born in the United States and I'm assuming has taken at least one United States history class. It's not really an excuse.

Exactly.

Jay-Z is not fooling anybody. He deals in facts only when the contents of his bank account are at stake. You can bet that if they were trying to end that deal because he didn't project the right image, he'd get real emotional real quick. He really is so gross and so shady (for this and so many other reasons), which…

Fuck them. Be yourself and if you feel like it check the people of color who are talking shit. I have never had too much of this experience and I move among all types of black folks and I would be one who they would say acts white. A few times I have been told (mostly by my cousins) that I talk proper, etc. I know…

If you can afford it go with Cinzia Rocca. They cost a lot. I got one on sale several years ago for $650-ish back in a former life before I became a writer and when I was making a bit of bank. Yeah. Sadly I lost it on a airplane. I think it was stolen. But warm and beautiful and of the highest quality. They are…

Time to work on letting that go, babe. Seriously, call him up. You're both single and clearly mutually interested. One or both of those states of affairs will eventually change if you don't take some initiative. This would clearly not be a rebound situation, if that's part of your worry.