Ladies, take a cue from your younger sis, and aim a little higher.

If you’re a hot, SUPER successful 20-something business woman, I figure you can either date a musician, a trust-fund man, heir to some obscure throne, or an older even more successful man.

After their brush with Heath Ledger’s death, I can understand why they’re skewing older and established.

Dude has ISSUES.

Here’s the thing: I look at the Olsen twins’ romantic choices and I’m like, women, do you not see that you are of the same gene pool that has nabbed (allegedly) Tom Hiddleston?!? And then I think, well, they are astoundingly successful businesswomen who have been working and traveling the world since they were nine…

Steak Penn sounds like a wacky theme restaurant, like one where you’d have to rope your own cattle before then send it to the abattoir and then serve it up sizzlin’ hot on a skillet at your table.

If I were Sean Penn, I’d name my kid Quill or Pig.

Sheeeeeit. Well played. 🙌🏼

I try to respect that art is subjective and not everyone likes everything

The Olsens both definitely have a thing for vintage. Can’t blame them. Usually worth more.

Diplo might be half gay, but he’s 100% douchebag.

At first glance, I thought that was Andrew Lloyd Webber and I wasn’t even mad.

You don’t think we already have that two-tier system?

It must be rough having to live with Halloween Face year-round, but that still doesn’t explain why he was so inexcusably lenient with the Turner kid. Fuck this creep, I hope his career continues to be negatively effected by his shitty verdict.

Basically, “mitigating factors” does not mean what this judge thinks it means.

I think that on some level, people think prison is not as hard on some people because they think they are “used to it,” which is completely dehumanizing. Having a hard life does not make jail easier for you. Having an easier life does not make jail harder for you.

Here you go:

I’ve been asking this for a while. Don’t worry, I don’t expect an answer.

you have to take the whole picture in terms of what impact imprisonment has on a specific individual’s life.

It’s a shame, you know? This judge had such a bright judiciary career in front of him, it is just a shame that this one little verdict will mess up his entire future.

Is there any reason why you aren’t running the judge’s photo rather than Brock’s (whose mug makes me retch at this point)? Is it a matter of privacy/safety or what?