As a fellow “cookie” I love the baking reference

I like that the end message had more explicit instructions than just “call 800#”

Dad- “You’ve gained a little weight”

With the new “formats” will there even be another pissing contest?

And I know a Rick James XX which we all call “Rick James Bitch”

I knew a (Ricardo) Richard Ramirez, born in El Paso the same day (Feb 29, leap year). He also had some documents and a note in his police file indicating he wasn’t the same one

He looks like he's doing more than Paris Hilton so that's something

Me too on the onions! No one ever believes me till they’ve heard my stomach after screaming “what did you do to me?”

I *always* tip on the “what the bill should have been” amount at happy hour which is why I get better service at my regular places than my friends.

I’m home from college visiting and now my mom and sister are taking me to the airport. I’m hungover.

Gregory Peck out to dinner with a friend was told there would be a wait. Friend says “shouldn’t you tell them who you are?” Peck says something like “if they don’t know, what good does it do to tell them” and waits like a sensible human being.

Be a constituent, write a letter (not a form letter, not a generic email), make a phone call. This has SO MUCH more weight than you can imagine if the numbers pile up. Your reps ARE SUPPOSED TO listen to their constituents/voters so make yourselves heard rather than bitching about it here. YOU can and do make a…

I’m like the village from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, no kids.

It kinda loses “impact” (so to speak) since it doesn't really show anything. It's edited and just black for the accident

I'm single and childless but I must have had a huge family in a past life cause I can't cook for less than 8.

I use cream cheese in my creamed spinach and a pinch of truffle salt. Same effect and less calories plus way quicker