Jenna Fischer just broke my heart.

The MOST suspicious thing is that (and I don’t know if you’ve noticed) every eight ball purchased after Ahmed was born has an answer that says “Future seems murky but the one thing we can all agree about is that Ahmed Mohamed caused 9/11".

So which is the fishy thing? That he made a clock, that the story got picked up by the national media after the Dallas Morning News published it, that they decided to move to Qatar after having a particularly bad experience in the state of Texas, or that the 16yo kid doesn’t take media interviews without his parents?

I feel like they shouldn’t be allowed to give tickets for riding without a seatbelt until they get their own house in order. I mean, ticketing people on the road is almost guilt before innocence. You’re not able to defend yourself.

This has been a banner year for violently tone-deaf public statements, but I do believe we’ve got a contender here;

How the fuck is this not already illegal?

Or years. A lot happened in 1989, Taylor.

Can we simply not trademark first names? Is it too much to ask?

“Jenner is a ‘secondary reality television personality’ who has received criticism from disability rights groups and African-American communities.”

anyone who isn't is suspect

#teamKylieMinogue

#TeamMinogue. Also, if you ever get the chance to see her live, do it. Her voice is so much more substantial than recordings.

I knew this guy in college... douchey wingnut, wore Confederate flag t-shirts, etc. Not very bright. Whenever he said something stupid, there would often be someone there to make some scathing, sarcastic comment back that was essentially making fun of him... and he would laugh along because he had no idea his idiocy…

It’s the face you make when someone accidentally drops a sexual innuendo in a super-serious office meeting and you want to laugh but you look around the room and realize you might be the only one who picked up on it... From here on out can we just call that the Stacy Dash?

I thought it was a “she won’t actually be there after he announced her name” ...I was honestly shocked she walked out

I’m 100% sure she did not get the joke.

The Weeknd low-key dying was the best part of this.

I’ve heard a lot of guys brag that if they ran, they’d trip over their own dick, but this is the first time I’ve actually seen it happen.