When I saw the news I genuinely thought, “Man, I hope Felix writes about him.”

No kidding. I’m still trying to figure out what that kid at 3:03 was trying to do.

Fuck you, Deadspin. Greg Oden deserves a 4th (5th?) shot.

When the back-up lights went on I spit milk out my nose.

Buying a Honda Insight is still the worst decision he’s ever made, a problem somehow solved by the second worst decision he’s ever made.

No big deal, I got friends with the names. I got Tito and Antler from college. I got Nasty Nick and Kirby Fuckett from my sports league and I got Frank Gumbo Jr. whom I met at the DMV. We all got them no doubt about it. Just own it, Greg.