"You know how us guys are…we like to trap women in hotel rooms and jerk off in front of them. This guy knows what I'm talking about!"

In fairness, jizz-refusal gives you great power. Batman has never jizzed.

It's the best way to show respect for the labor movement that this weekend celebrates.

My only concern is that it's disrespectful to the brave anti-colonialist activists of ISIS.

Which is itself a CIA psyop.

I heard the principal had to call your stepdad Greg to take you home bc you refused to wipe your ass, why didn't you wipe your ass!?

Son I am going to put a sign on the back of your debate club blazer that says "DIP SHIT," everyone will laugh at you for being a "DIP SHIT."

Please put me in touch with the bullies from your high school. I need an explanation for why they let you turn out this way.

I would say that "respectable" conservatives are also driven primarily by a hypersexualized fear of black penises, they just don't advertise it as explicitly.

From Brain Candy, of course:

I used to wear an enormous poofy hat every day until 1996 when the video for Jamiroquai's "Virtual Insanity" came out. It all changed in one day.

Bathtubs clearly call for a wide pasta like pappardelle, or even lasagnette.

I just don't see why these extreme power relationships have to exist for something as petty and ultimately useless (sorry everyone) as improv comedy. If you create a cult, bad shit is inevitably going to happen.

Fair enough. I've definitely seen it used for what I was talking about, though. I guess all internet neologisms eventually get stretched beyond usefulness.

I really don't agree with the whole "sealioning" thing. It basically means you're not supposed to disagree with somebody on a public forum. I mean, I'm more or less doing it to you now. And I don't feel like a sea lion.

I thought third wave ska killed and buried both hats 20 years ago.

I just feel bad for all the innocent cuckold fetishists who had their word coopted by anime Nazis. How can you enjoy Steve from work plowing your wife when the things he's calling you make you think of shut-in gamers?

It was very progressive of them to fire a four foot tall man for the role of hardass Special Forces guy.

I like to jack off my darn penis.

I hope no jabronis are allowed in the CCU.