Of course he picked it up. It's his contract extension.

"manufacturing behemoth Procter & Gamble has pulled out..."

Breasts would like to apologize for their role in the cancer.

I bet some players' wives and girlfriends would appreciate those pink mouthguards.

I'm glad Hester pulled off a rushing TD, and I'm curious if he can do the same against an NFL team later this season.

"This is who I got traded to??!?"

Buttfumble II: This Time It's Personal

I am a bucs fan. I am every drunk right know. So sad. All the pints. Even schiano wasn as bad as this lets all decide to make the bucs not as bad as this. Let's all the teams give them one player that isn't bad. Let's do that

Yeah, but how far can he punt a football?

You know who DID break their wives' bones and beat their children with a shoe? The people who WON WORLD WAR II!!!!!

He's pretty reliably great. I'm waiting for him to get a really good role in a movie.

Lesson for the day: saying, "Fuck her right in the pussy," isn't ok, but actually doing it without her consent is.

I wonder if this is also still the official position of the Vikings organization.

I thought Drew's take on corporal punishment and child abuse yesterday was really good, but there was one thing that I think missed the mark. When he said "If it takes sending Adrian Peterson to jail to explain the 'don't hit your kids' concept to all the junior Bob Knights out there, so be it."

Why did you need to hit your three year old??

I think that every great exchange of ideas starts with a "Please STFU."

The child is 4. It is the responsibility of the adult, Adrian Peterson, to ensure that the child does not bleed from his scrotum. It's not because "the kids test him every time they switch homes." The toddler bled from his scrotum because the 217 lb man did not act like a responsible adult and repeatedly hit him with…

Ya, because stripper with an abusive father isn't a trope

So we know Adrian Peterson had a son with one woman, a son who would now be three years old but is deceased after being beaten by another man at the age of two. And he has two four-year-old sons with two other women. So we presume he impregnated three different women, none of whom he was married to, within a span…

Yes. I can get smacking a hand away from a hot stove as an immediate reaction or something like that, but what on earth do you need to do to a child who's that age and who's already restrained?