Whatever, like yall don’t eat in the car.

Listen, I’m all about multi-tasking, and I am totally cool with breastfeeding whenever and wherever. But I’m not OK about endangering children. Ever. WTF, lady?

She needs an asylum for her crazy.

“Gah”?

Thisthisthis!! I am a renter, I don’t even pay a water bill, and I’m SO CAREFUL about my water usage, because it IS a zero-sum game and it might just run out, sooner than we’d like.

GOD DAMN! Banks' twitter game has been ON FIRE lately. I daresay I like her when she's being political.

please read all of Demi Adejuyigbe’s tweets about last night’s Taylor Swift show ( a small sampling below)

Oh, okay, sorry. :)
TWs are a touchy subject and a lot of people misunderstand them, to say the least.

Dick Tips

Please, don’t encourage us. Children will have to wear the stickers on their head or something.

No the sandwich is for after seducing. Because nothing’s more fun than running to the bathroom, mopping up,putting yourself back together, and then going to muck about with mayo in the kitchen.

“Make me a sammich” is so cliche and frankly it’s easy to do. Too easy. I tell my husband “grill me a salmon” and he does and we are a happy couple and so someone please have me on tv to talk about my marriage tips.

I’m also reminded of that Louis CK schtick about cuddling. To paraphrase poorly: if you do it right, she should high five you and go to sleep. If she’s cuddling it’s because you haven’t given her orgasms.

And my job being married is to get my husband and my [seven] kids to heaven with me.

Thank you. My cousin has been drinking the god kool-aid over the past few years and has become increasingly absorbed in her idea of religion, so she sees people like the Duggars as good people because they claim to be christians like she is. I think at her core she’s just very simple-minded and doesn’t think broadly…

One of my more wacky cousins shared a post from the Duggar FB page in which Michelle wished Jim Bob a happy birthday, described him as the best man/husband/father anyone could ever ask for, and generally gushing about him. I literally saw red and could not restrain myself from commenting that I hoped he choked to…

I hate you a little for how much that cracked me up

There is no Ecto cooler than you.

Gee, couldn’t have happened to a nicer family, what with all the “Trans people are coming for your children” and “gay people are sodomites who deserve no rights” talk coming out of them.