I am the proud owner of the world's dumbest beagle who is sweeter than pie but I swear to god he has to re-learn how to walk every time I put his snow booties on because he thinks his feet have been replaced by small black rubber balloons. Kills me. Loved these stories - great pickmeup for a terribly boring…

anyone else think that this ass clown is probably tweeting about how thrilled he is to be called out by feminazis on Jez today? Perhaps the cause would be best served by just never speaking of this asshole ever again and quietly passing on the word that eligible ladies should stay away from him. These PUAs thrive on…

does this strike anyone else as the ultimate objectification scheme? LADIES!!! It's the latest thing! Let's all pick a highly feminized, commercial object and think of our bodies as that inanimate object rather than a powerful, capable, beautiful PERSON. Jesus H Tapdancin' Christ...

ummmmm how does one measure one's labia? Do you pull the fleshy folds away from the body and measure from the pubic bone to the tip of the lip (natch) or some other means or methods?

just wait until you get into a firm and the cattiness between women who take maternity leave and those of us who don't starts up. A partner recently told me that she would "strongly prefer it" if I did not take any vacation in the next three months while my coworker is on maternity leave. That's right.... FEMALE…

Thanks for that. The hilarious thing is that if I was in a room full of men I don't think I'd be as self-conscious as I am in a room full of bitches at the gym! I feel like we're the ones always judging each other while the men are just trying to get our clothes off.... :)

I KNOW, RIGHT?

look, y'all. The marketing geniuses at Playtex wouldn't have to go through all of these clever maneuvers if you would just admit what you know is true: your body is dirty, sex is sinful and wrong and you're all going to hell. If you'd all just give in to these universal truths and go back to flogging yourselves with…

is this real life?

What's the word on pre-washed or "triple washed" lettuces and greens? I realize that you're just trusting the same company to do the washing for you that may have contaminated the greens/lettuce/spinach in the first place but... I just wonder if washing really is enough to eliminate most of these problems (whether…

yeah so this looks like the kind of passively-aggressive competitive group exercise class that makes most women feel awful about themselves and go home and binge on Ben & Jerry's after they've completed it. I mean, really, if I had to spend 60 minutes watching those women's asses looking this amazing as they do those…

I find everything about this company incredibly boring. I'm sure that the people on it are also incredibly boring... or, at the very least, incredibly bored and too victim-y to find a productive way to entertain themselves.

I feel like every damn day I hear or read one of these things about how I've been totally duped by advertising that was designed to do exactly that and think, wow, I made it through f*cking law school and I still don't think critically, like, 90% of the time. I can recall having some fleeting thoughts while draining…

girl, please. Yours does tricks... just not the same as every other person's tricks. Keep searching!!!! Enjoy!!!

you get a double high-five and a scream of AWESOME for this comment. I think EVERY. SINGLE. BODY. is different. Duh. To say that if you put a finger (fingers are different sizes and shapes!) into a vagina (vaginas are different sizes and shapes! Mine is ELONGAGED! My gyno can barely find my cervix it's so damn…

it's a reasonable point, but one that I think demonstrates how, if we take everything to that place, we lose all possibility for humor. I mean, it's really important that we look at how women are portrayed in all media and how they are portrayed differently according to their size, but if absolutely everything is a…

I think you completely misinterpreted what I said. I'm not making any judgment about whether violence between domestic partners is qualitatively or morally different than violence between strangers. I was merely specifying that women tend to use weapons in situations where they've been the objects of domestic abuse…

Nancy Grace trumps all, dude. Didn't you know?

word.

wait, what? DV stands for DOMESTIC violence... it's just clarifying that it's a significant other who's perpetrating. What is sugar coating about that?