This is sweet, but did they really have to gun down his parents first?

I know, she was so lucky she didn't hit anyone! And can you believe the police aren't even charging her with a DUI? Super lucky!!!

I am actually at home eating cheese bra-less right now.

Read it as "Ensure" and was pretty impressed with their decision to branch out from meal replacement shakes.

That's why I love Bubblegum. Pink princess, math genius. Boom.

The look of desperation in my dog's eyes when a lone dingleberry hangs in the balance is priceless.

"I've seen some shit, man."

I am with you Erin! I am a Christian who loves Christmas very much. At no point in my entire 41 years of life have I ever felt that my freedom to celebrate Christmas has ever been infringed upon. Walk into any store. Any store, anywhere in America. There is so much Christmas it's insane! Even my 5 year old thinks…

Didn't even look at the rest of them. Saw the Loki one and, um, what... what was I saying?

Sorry this is a little off topic... but DAT LIPSTICK. I want it. And the ability to pull it off.

and 9 out of 10 women are just really good liars

What's the stats on men, though? Or are they all in denial? :-}

Yeah, what kind of machine am I supposed to be anyway? Do tell, Rush!

Is plagiarism wrong in a non academic or commercial context? This is fucking retarded. So much shit Maddow could be covering and she's trying to make hay out of this 'scandal'.

frankly, members of my family are not too interested in politics, period, or wanting me to do more of this,

I'm sorry. I want to give you the eyeroll you deserve, but I would blind myself. Do tell me what a legitimate cultural identity or an aspirational cultural identity is.

I would have had so much more respect for her if she'd just adopted the nickname "The Beast" and, ahem, ran with it.

Oh god I don't even LIKE the Simpsons and that's making me tear up!

He's like if Reddit was a person.